


Their child

by islashlove



Category: Psych
Genre: Childbirth, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:18:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 26,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4747859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islashlove/pseuds/islashlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why is Lassiter is sitting between two beds in a hospital room holding a new born baby. this is a SLASH story</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three Lives Shattered

Lassie sat in the hospital room holding his baby daughter in his arms. His chair was placed in between the two beds in the room. On one bed lay Shawn and on the other was Juliet. Looking down at the small baby in his arms, he smiles as he remembered how this little miracle came to be and how today should have been a happy occasion. Instead two lives hung in the balance between the living and the dead.

Shawn and Lassiter had been dating for about two years, and then thirteen months ago he and Shawn had gotten married. After returning from their honeymoon, Shawn started talking about them having a family. This always turned into a fight with Shawn walking out the door, going either to Gus' or if the fight was a really bad one to his dad's.

Then it happened; Shawn didn't come home. He was gone for three days. Lassie didn't know where he was or when he was coming home. Then the call came in, it was from Shawn.

"Lassiter if you want to be with me... meet me at the Psych office at midnight. If you're not there I have my answer. If you are, we need to talk about our problem."

At first he thought of not going as the fights weren't healthy for either of them. But he loved Shawn and he needed to prove this to him just like he tried to prove it to Victoria. But unlike her, Shawn was worth fighting for with everything he had.

He turned up at 11:45pm; just to be sure he was there on time. He also brought a peace offering of pineapple pizza, pineapple juice and for desert pineapple upside down cake. He watched the office and he could see Shawn walking around inside. At five of he got out of the car and headed toward the office. Knocking on the door, he then entered not sure what he would find.

"You're here," Shawn said in a quiet voice.

"Yes."

Shawn had his back to him and was looking at the floor.

"Shawn... Look at me, please!" he knew he was pleading, but he didn't care.

Shawn turned and slowly raised his eyes. He first looked straight into Lassie's eyes and he could see the tears he was fighting to hold back. Feeling ashamed, he started to lower his eyes again. This is when he saw the food and his eyes lit up.

"Oh great, food, I'm starving. How did you know?"

"A good guess, since you left your wallet at home. It's all pineapple," Lassie said with a smile.

As they sat there eating, Lassiter could not help but think that everything was going to be ok between them.

"Shawn, when was the last time you ate?"

"When I left... three days ago, I didn't want you to know where I was, so I didn't even call Gus or Dad."

"Shawn...What am I'm going to do with you?"

"I can tell you what you can start with. Tell me why you don't want to raise a child with me. I mean, am I too...What, stupid or just too childish in your mind that I wouldn't make a good parent?"

Lassiter could hear the hurt in Shawn's words and voice and when he looked up, he could see that Shawn was fighting to hold back tears.

"It's not you, Shawn."

"What?"

"It's not you, Shawn, it's me. I know you'd make a good, no a great, parent. But me! I mean, you know how long it took me to trust you, to believe you truly loved me. How can I, how can we, bring a child in to our world, when I can't promise that I could love it."

"No one can. Lassie, do you believe you're a good man"

"Yes."

"And we know that you can love someone and that you do have the patience of a parent. I mean you put up with me after all and it won't affect your image as the man of this relationship, as everyone already knows I'm the girl in it."

Lassiter lets a small smile to creep across his face at the last statement.

"Shawn, I would love to have and raise a child with you. How can we have a child?"

"Well, there's adoption or we could look into 'rent-a-womb' which are woman who..."

"I know what they do, Shawn. Can I please have some time to think about this?"

Shawn hung his head, thinking. When he raised it back up his eyes were shining and Lassiter could see the love that was there.

"Take all the time you need as long as you will truly think about it; that's all I wanted you to do." Shawn reached over and kissed his soul mate, putting all the love and caring he had for him into it.

"Let's go home, Shawn, please?"

"Yes, Lassie, let's go home."

The next day Lassiter was sitting at his desk. The day was quiet so he was catching up on his paper work. Also on his desk was all the paper work Shawn had given him on all of their options to have a child. Carlton had always wanted children and when he married Victoria he thought that they would have some. How wrong he was, and shocked was an understatement when he found out that she was taking the pill. Victoria's excuse was that his job was too dangerous and she was not going to be left raising a child on her own. Then he found out she was cheating on him, it just pushed him over the edge and that was what made him have the affair. In all fairness he could have just told her that he was bi sexual and left it there and done. But the truth to be told he still loved her and in his own way he always would.

And then Shawn came crashing into his world. He brightens everyday with his smile and the way he acted. He attracted attention, just by being there and everybody wanted to be by his side, even the grumpy Detective Lassiter. And that wanting him, was what made Carlton even grumpier as he knew this handsome young man would never look his way. After all what did he have that Shawn could ever want. Oh, what a shock it was when he found out that in fact, Shawn did want him. That Shawn stayed in Santa Barbara because of him. That was the day Lassiter was sure he had finally been shot and gone to heaven.

"Detective Lassiter...? Hello, Ground control to Carlton."

His partner's voice finally broke through his train of thought. Turning towards her he saw she had a smile on her face.

"Yes, O'Hara, what can I do for you?"

When she did not answer, he followed her line of sight and realised that she was looking at the pamphlet on his desk. Seeing this, he tried to hide them.

"I'm sorry, Carlton. I didn't mean to embarrass you; anyway I think you and Shawn will make lovely parents."

"Really...?"

He then indicated the empty interview room. O'Hara nodded and headed straight there, while Lassiter picked up the paper work. After he entered he closed the door behind him.

"Shawn would like us...I mean he wants us to have a family... and I'm not sure."

"Why not...? You both are good people, with good backgrounds and good jobs."

"One, we're both men."

"Who are married and have a great and loving relationship."

Lassiter smiled. "I'll give you that one." He took a deep breath and continued. "Two... Oh hell there is no two. I've always wanted children and you're right, now days it doesn't matter what your relationship is made up of; as long as you love each other, you can be a family. I would have loved to have a child of my own. I mean I'm not against adoption, but I'm not too comfortable with 'rent-a-womb' thing. I mean you don't really know these women or where there from."

"Ok, if you had a woman whom you know and trust, would you think about it?"

"Yes, of course I would, but we can't really go around and asked all the women we know, now can we?"

"No you can't! But I can offer to do it for you as long as you and Shawn pay my medical bills and at least let me be part of the child's life in some way. I'm willing to do it for you guys."

"See, you understand what I mean. Wait, you'll what?"

"I'm willing to have yours and Shawn's baby for you!"

"You are?"

"Yes I am. Why don't we get together tonight and talk it through with Shawn."

"Ok and...thank you, O'Hara. Thank You!"

And with that they went back to their jobs.

That night the idea became a plan. There was only one little hurtle to get over that was the Chief. The next day they all piled into her office. They lay down their plans in front of her and after a little time the Chief agreed, that when the time came she would give O'Hara the time off she needed for the treatment and the birth. She congratulated Lassiter and Shawn on their decision. Then she ordered them back to work.

Everything worked out just the way they planned it. Jules went in for the treatment and on the third try she became pregnant. The pregnancy itself went smoothly and two weeks before the due date she moved in with them so that when the time came, one of them would be there to take her to the hospital and contact the other.

So when Lassiter got the call, he busted into the Chief's office and told her it was time and then just as quickly disappeared. The chief could not stop herself from smiling as she remembered what Carlton was like when he was at the birth of her daughter. She then gave a small prayer for the hospital and its staff.

When he got to hospital they had not yet arrived and he started to get worried. After about ten minutes he tried to call both O'Hara's and Shawn's mobiles but was not getting anything. After his forth pace around the room, he was just about to leave to find them as the chief walked up to him.

"Chief, what are you doing here?"

"Detective Lassiter...Carlton, Please sit down." The Chief's voice was low but still commanding so Lassiter sat down next to her.

"Just after you left a call came in about a traffic accident."

"So what has this to do with me?"

"I overheard the details and knew straight away that it was O'Hara's car. I'm sorry Carlton; they're both in surgery right now. By the looks of it, another car drove through a red light, striking the driver's door. Shawn has taken the full impact of the crash and the doctors are in there right now trying to save all their lives." Lassiter was just staring off into space and the Chief wasn't sure he had actually heard her. "Carlton, did you hear me?"

"Yes...Yes, I heard you. What floor do I need to go to?"

"Come on I'll take you there."

As Lassiter stood up, his legs gave way and he came crashing down. He didn't feel anything as he has already lost consciousness.

When he came to he was in a white room. Looking around he spied the Chief sitting next to Henry. As he struggled to sit up he feels a soft hand on him.

"Easy there, Detective."

It was Guster.

"Shawn...?"

"He's in the next bed." He turned to show Lassiter where Shawn lay. With his battered and broken body the way it was he was not easily recognisable. A tear ran down Carlton' cheek.

"What about Juliet and the baby?"

By the time he had asked this question they had him into a sitting position on the bed. Guster again indicated the same direction as before and now Carlton could see Juliet. She looked like Shawn but not as bad, but she, too, lay lifelessly on the bed. Then he then felt something being handed to him. It was a little baby.

"This is your daughter; she was protected in the womb so she is fine." Henry said.

So this is how it came to be, that the big strong detective Carlton Lassiter was sitting in between two beds in a hospital room. His husband Shawn was on a bed on one side and the mother of their daughter on the other. He sat there, broken; as neither one of them stirred or moved in any way and there was no telling if either of them would ever wake up. All he knew was that Shawn was right and one look at this little baby he was holding and he loves her more and more every day. Some of the nurse's say that when you walk past the door you can hear him saying a little prayer.

"Shawn, Juliet! Please wake up. I need you and so does our daughter, Shules."


	2. The First Awakening

It has now been one month. One long month since his life was destroyed, but at the same time it was reborn. Shawn, his husband, the love of his life, lay in a hospital bed next to their friend and the mother of their child, Juliet. Neither one has moved on their own since the accident. Juliet is still as beautiful as she has always been. But Shawn... well the swelling had gone down, but you would still find it hard to recognise him. And at the moment the doctors still have no idea if one or both of them will ever come to. They also keep saying that until they do, they can't tell how much, if any, damage has been done.

For the first few weeks Lassiter had gotten into the routine of being there when visiting hours started and did not leave till they ended. The first thing he did was to go to Shawn's bed and give him a kiss on the lips and hug. Then repeat the same with Jules only giving her kiss on the check. As he brushed Juliet's hair, he would fill them in on how Shules was doing and how much she had grown. He explained to Shawn how Henry was the proud grandfather and how he even takes Shules so Lassiter could get some sleep. He would then sit down and read the news paper to them and remembering not to forget the comics for Shawn.

But things have now changed. Lassiter has to return to work. He loves his job; he really does, but without his two partners being there he just can't find the heart to put into it. Henry is going to take care of Shules when Lassiter is at work. He promises to visit Shawn and Juliet for him and although his wife had left him, Henry sort of knows what Lassiter is going through. At first, he too, lost the will to do the job. But when he saw Shawn's face looking up at him he knew he had to carry on for his son's sake and now it was Lassiter's turn for Shules.

As he enters the station, he could feel everybody watching him. Not only the fact he has been away for so long, but by now everyone here knows about him and Shawn. Keeping his head up, he headed straight for his desk. By the time he sat down, McNab was standing there with a cup of coffee in his hands. Looking up he could see the sympathy in McNab's eyes. Taking the cup, he placed it on his desk and he turned to look at what files there were.

"How are they, sir?" Lassiter nearly didn't hear the timid question.

"Ok, I guess, Shawn's swelling has gone down, but there is no change in either of their conditions."

"Well, we're all behind you, sir, and if there is anything any of us can do for you, please just ask."

Lassiter was about to reply, but when he raised his head what he saw made his heart swell. Standing before him was just about everyone in the station, each holding a get well card for Shawn and Juliet. They told Lassiter that if he needed anything all he needed to do was call. Then they returned to their work. At the end the only one left was McNab. Looking at him with his eye brows raised, Lassiter asked if there was anything else McNab wanted.

"Well, yes sir and please, don't take this the wrong way, but we raised a bit of money to help you out with the baby. It's not much, a few thousand, but we would like you to have it. I know with my own child the price of thing..."

"Thank you, McNab, I really appreciate it. I know Shawn and O'Hara will also be glad to hear that the station is looking after their child." Lassiter was having a hard time keeping the tears at bay.

"We're doing this for you as well sir. We all care for you. After all you're our Head Detective, we all respect you." And with a smile McNab was gone, returning to the front counter.

The day had gone slow and being his first day back, he spent most of the day catching up on his paper work. McNab made sure he was never without a coffee on his desk and at times one or two of the other officer's came over and checked up on him. So when the call came in about a hold up at a nearby coffee shop he was glad to get out and see some action.

As he entered the bullpen he was being congratulated on a successful case, as he had caught the wannabe robber. Looking over at his desk he saw Henry sitting there with baby Shules on his lap, surrounded by officers anxious to see her. Once they saw Lassiter, though, they dispersed, going back to their jobs.

"Henry, what are you doing here?"

"I came to get you."

"Why?"

"Jules, she's come to. I thought you needed to know and the Chief said to take you back to the hospital to see her. So are you coming?"

Lassiter grabbed his coat and followed his father-in-law out the door.


	3. A Memory Lost in Time

Henry stood outside the door of Shawn and Juliet's room watching Carlton slowly come up the hallway. Since they entered the hospital he had started to lag behind. Shules gives a little giggle and Henry takes his eyes off his son-in-law to look down at his granddaughter. Her smile was so much like Shawn's was when he was this age and it only grew wider as he got older. Shules also had her father's eyes, the green changed with her mood and right now she was happy and content.

Henry looks up from Shules to see that Lassiter was finally standing next to him. The Detective looks tired and broken. Instead of walking with his head held high and his back straight, he now walked with his head hung low and looking at the floor and his back hunched over.

"Are you coming in as well, Henry?"

"No, I'll stay out here in the waiting room with Shules. If you think Jules is up to seeing her then come and get me. It will be ok, Carlton."

And with a quick pat on Lassiter's back, Henry turned around and headed off to the waiting room at the end of the hall. Lassiter stood there for a moment, watching him go. He knows that without Henry, Chief Vick, McNab and the rest of the officers at the station he would not have made it. If it was not for them looking after Shules, it was being there and stopping him from getting to drunk and then killing himself driving. The wives cooked and came around to clean the house for him. He could not think of any way he could ever repay them for all they have done.

At this moment he realised that they were more his family than his real one. The moment his real family found out he was gay and in a relationship with Shawn they disowned him and he has not heard from them since. Henry had become the father he never had and even though Chief Vick was younger then Lassiter himself, she was more a mother to him, always helping, accepting and praising the good work he did and when the need came she also had his hide when he did something wrong. O'Hara and McNab were the brother and sister he never had. The rest of the personnel at the station were the cousins. The station was just one big happy family. Lassiter felt sad that such a tragedy had to happen for him to realise this.

Turning around to face the door he smiled and pushed it opened. The room did not seem any different from the last time he was here. The one big change was that O'Hara did not have the tubes or wires going to her anymore and she was sitting up and looking at Shawn.

"O'Hara... I mean, Juliet?"

Jules turned her head to look at the person who had spoken. At first she did not recognise him, but as Lassiter moved a bit closer, you could see her eyes starting to shine with recognition.

"Detective Lassiter, oh thank god. Maybe you can tell me what happen and why am I sharing a room with Shawn?"

"You don't remember?"

"No, I just remember working on the Teller case and then leaving to go home. Lassiter please tell me what happened."

"I'm not sure I should, at lease let me speak to the doctor first, ok?"

Jules watched him move slowly over to Shawn's bed. Lassiter didn't want to be rude, but he turned so his back was to her, so she could not see the tears that had formed in his eyes. Jules, one of his best friend's, his partner and the mother of his and Shawn's daughter could not remember anything that had happened between them since a case that happened long before Shawn and he had gotten together. What was he going to say to her?

"Lassiter... what happened to me and Shawn?"

There was a pleading tone in her voice. As he turned to say something the door opened and the doctor walked in.

"Good afternoon, Detective O'Hara, and how are you?"

"Ok, I guess. But I would be better if someone would tell me what happened.

The doctor noticed Lassiter standing next to Shawn's bed. "Detective Lassiter, how long have you been here?"

"I've only been here for a few minutes. O'Hara asked me to tell her what happened but I told her I would need to speak to you first."

"That is good. I'll finish my examination of both O'Hara and Shawn. Then I will meet you in the waiting room. Is Henry there with Shules?"

"Yes he is; Henry was the one to tell me that O'Hara had woken up. Well, I'll see you soon."

Lassiter looked at Shawn again, turned to Jules telling her he would see him again soon and then left. As he walked into the waiting room, Henry went to get up but Lassiter indicated for him not too. Lassiter sat down next to Henry, put his head in his hand and started to cry. This was too much, way too much for his already broken spirit to handle.

"What's wrong?"

"Juliet doesn't remember...She remembers working on the Teller case and then going home. That was four years ago, Henry, four years."

"What did the doctor say?"

"He'll talk to us as soon as he finishes checking them." He held out his arms for the baby. Henry handed his granddaughter over to her father. Although both of them had fallen in to a comfortable routine around each other over the last few weeks they had not really sat down and talked about anything other than Shules.

"So, Carlton how did you and Shawn, get together?"

Carlton was looking down at the baby and at first did not respond to the question. Henry guessed that it was just too soon for him to talk about.

"He asked me out."

"What?"

"Shawn asked me out and I had said no."

"Oh, wait you said no and that's how you ended up dating my son?

"Well, after he had asked me out, I got to thinking why did he ask me. I mean he's always chasing Juliet, so why me."

"Oh, so you examined your feelings for Shawn and found out you liked him. Is that it?"

"Yes and no. When I asked Shawn why, he said that Guster had dared him to. When I asked him to explain what he meant, he said that Guster wanted him to prove that no matter what he did, I would not kill him and he was right."

"That sounds like Shawn. But I still don't understand how this got you two together?

"Well, when I asked Shawn why, we were alone. He said that because I hated him so much that if he'd made an advance towards me, Guster was sure I'd shoot him. I told him I didn't hate him and when I could not convince him otherwise, I just pushed him up against the wall and kissed him. After we broke apart, I asked him if the offer of dinner was still open. He said yes and we've been together ever since. Of cause we kept our relationship a secret as long as we could."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Lassiter could hear the sadness in Henry's voice. "Shawn was not sure how you would react. He said he didn't want to see the disappointment in your eyes when you found out he was gay."

"I always knew he was gay. I mean, I'm just so glad that he has someone like you to look after him. The way Shawn was I could easily have seen him in an abusive relationship."

"Don't worry, with some of the things that Shawn does I feel like hitting or shooting him, but I won't, I love him too much to do that."

"Thank you, Carlton."

The doctor walked into the waiting room. "Detective Lassiter, Mr Spencer." Both men stood up and shook his hand. He smiled at Shules lying in her father's arms.

"Please sit down. Firstly, as you know Detective O'Hara has woken up and I guess you noticed that she has lost some of her memory. Physically she has been recovering well and if she's keeps improving as she has, O'Hara should be right to go home in a few days. But... with her memory though... we need to give her some time. I think for the moment, finding out about the baby might do more harm than good."

"So, not tell her that she and Shawn have a child? What about my relationship with Shawn?"

"I'm sorry, but no. We need for things to be the same as she last remembers it. We've told her that they were involved in a car accident but that is all... except for today's date."

Lassiter looked away from the doctor, taking a deep breath.

"What about Shawn... Is there any improvements there yet?" Henry asked.

"Actually, yes, there are improvements such as the swelling going down and the broken bones are healing... Oh, and Shawn actually opened his eyes yesterday."

Lassiter's head shot up, looking at the doctor as if trying to work out if he was lying or not.

"He opened his eyes and we weren't told?"

"Easy there! Yes, he opened his eyes, but we're not sure if that means he is wakening up. It could have just been an involuntary body movement."

Just then the doctor's pager went off.

"Sorry, I have to get this. Just remember, be very careful as to what you say to Detective O'Hara." The doctor stood and left the room.

"Are you ready to go back in and see her again?" Henry asked.

"Not just yet. Can I have some time to myself, please?"

"Sure... take all the time you need."

Henry tapped Carlton on the shoulder, took baby Shules from him and left. As he went through the door he yelled back, "I'll be waiting in the car when you're ready."

Lassiter watched as Henry entered the lift. After the door closed, he held his head in his hands and prayed. He prayed that Juliet would get her memory back and that Shawn would wake up soon.


	4. Night-time Thoughts

Just a week after Juliet woke up she was allowed to go home, as long as she was released into someone's care and Lassiter volunteered. Over the week Juliet was given bits and pieces of information, starting with the fact that she had lost her memory as well as over four years of her life. The only real things Juliet wasn't told were about Lassiter and Shawn's relationship, and about Shules.

It was the night before her release and Juliet could not sleep. Too much information was running around in her head. What had happened in the last four and half years? Why was she in the car with Shawn? Who was this Shules person she keeps hearing about? And the biggest one, why was it Lassiter who was going to look after her.

She guessed that she must have been taking Shawn to a crime scene when the accident happened, but if that was the fact where was Gus and why don't they just say this is what happened. Juliet felt like they were hiding something from her, something big.

Then the question of Lassiter's behaviour popped into her head. Why, out of everyone she knows, is it Lassiter who is taking her home to keep an eye on her? Why not her family, or is this big secret, whatever it is, so big they were afraid they would let it slip out to her? Was it that bad, and did it have something to do with Shawn and this Shules person?

Another of Lassiter's strange behaviours was the way he was around Shawn when he visited, after she first woke up. She understood they were in the same room together because they were both in a coma and it was just easier for the hospital staff, but when Lassiter visited, he always sat between them and when she looked at him he was always watching Shawn. The day they were waiting for the room that she was getting moved to, Shawn opened his eyes. Lassiter was by his side before she could blink but the doctor said that it was an 'involuntary' reflex and Shawn was not awake. Lassiter looked devastated.

Juliet also started to wonder if maybe she and Lassiter were more than partners. After all, Lassiter did have an affair with his last partner. As Juliet fell asleep a smile moved across her lips.

"I'm going home tomorrow," she whispered.

Meanwhile, at Lassiter's house, Lassiter was sitting on the couch looking at his and Shawn's wedding photo. He gave a silent prayer that Juliet would get her memory back quickly and that Shawn would soon wake up. As he sat there he heard a knock at the front door. As he got up to answer it, he lets out a tired sigh. Opening the door he got a big surprise. Henry was standing there holding little Shules in his arms. Lassiter stepped aside to allow Henry to enter.

"Henry, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here for two reasons, the first one is that Shules wanted to see her father and since Juliet is going to be here for awhile, you seeing Shules is going to be hard, so I though you could uses some father, daughter time." As Henry said this he handed Lassiter the smiling child.

"Hello, Shules, and how is my little angel?"

"You're a little ahead of yourself if you are expecting an answer, Carlton."

Without taking his eyes off his daughter, Lassiter let out a little laugh. "Henry! I was asking you that question actually and what was the other thing you were here for?"

Henry watched Lassiter for a minute; he couldn't really remember the last time he had heard him laugh.

"Shules is doing great; in fact the doctor who just did her four week cheek-up was very happy with her. He said that usually a child in the situation that Shules and the rest of us are in, even a child as young as Shules, will pick up on all the stress and become restless and generally miserable. Not our Shules. She's the right height and weight for her age and is very happy and cheeky."

"Just like her dad. Oh yes, you are, aren't you my little one?" Lassiter looked up from his daughter. "And what's the other reason you're here, Henry?"

"To help you get ready for tomorrow."

"I've just about done everything."

"So I see. Where have you put everything?"

"In Shules' room, it was big enough and I can lock the door."

"What about Juliet's room?"

"Juliet's room...? Juliet is going to be stay in that room."

"Yes! I know that. But did you go in and remove all of her maternity clothes and any other stuff about the agreement you had with her?"

"No," Lassiter said with a sad, tired sigh.

"I just didn't think about that, only that most of her clothes were already here. I better go and do it now."

"Just a minute there, Carlton... I came over here to help you make sure everything was ready for tomorrow. Also, for you to spend time with Shules so you just sit there with your daughter and I'll have a quick run around the house and see if you've forgotten anything. Then you and I can go and tackle Juliet's room together."

"Thank you, Henry. You don't know how much this means to me."

"Lassiter, Shawn is my son and now so are you. You two have a beautiful daughter that I get to spoil. And Juliet is like a daughter to me as well, so I'm just so glad you'll let me help."

Neither of the men said anything else, they didn't need to. The unsaid words of understanding fell between them and they now knew where each of them stood with the other. Before Lassiter knew it an hour had passed and Henry had found a few things that he had missed. They then headed in to Juliet's room. At first they kept looking over their shoulders as if they were expecting Jules to walk in and catch them in there. But after a few minutes they settled into a comfortable working bee.

They first went through her closet and removed the maternity clothes, then started to look for any of the books she had brought about pregnancy and the agreement contract they had made. In one drawer Henry found the adoption papers. In another Lassiter found legal papers on how Jules, if she decided to keep the baby, could get out of the contract with them. He showed Henry.

"Looks like Juliet might have been having second thoughts."

"Not necessary, these papers could have just come with all the other paperwork. Until Jules gets her memory back, we won't know."

"Henry, until she gets her memory back she can't sign the adoption papers. This means... I have no legal rights to Shules. If Shawn doesn't wake up and if Juliet finds out about Shules and decides to keep her, I..."

"Now just hold it right there. One, there was a lot of 'what if's' in that sentence. Two, you have to believe that Shawn will wake up and three, Juliet loves you and Shawn both and even with the way she is right now there is no way she would take Shules from you. Got it, Carlton?"

"Yes, Henry, I've got it." He sighed and looked around Juliet's room. "Well we better get this finished so we can get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a big day."

"You're right. Just remember, if you need anything, all you have to do is call."

They put the last of the items into Shules' room; Carlton then shut and locked the door. He could not help but feel like he was locking away his life and his future with Shawn. A very heavy load settled onto his heart and he knew the only way it was going to lift was when Shawn came home or the day he dies. He then walked Henry and Shules to the door.

"Henry, how do you really feel about me and Shawn?"

"Carlton..."

"No, Henry, don't, I really need to know. Please."

"The truth...?"

"Yes, the truth."

"Ok. At first I was not happy. I wasn't upset because Shawn was gay or even in a gay relationship. I was worried that one of you would hurt the other and the rest of us would pay the price. If Shawn had hurt you, you would have been worse than before the relationship. I could see you either taking risks that were deadly or you would just give up on everything and we would have lost a good cop. If you had hurt Shawn in any way he would have run, and I don't think he would have stopped this time. Not until I got the call to go and pick up his body."

"And, what do you think now, Henry?"

"And now... Now I can see that you two need each other. You needed Shawn to give you a reason to live, to bring joy back into your life and show you how to enjoy yourself again. Shawn needed you to give him something stable in his life, he's always lived life as a joke and thanks to you he started to settle down and take life a bit more seriously. And for that I will be always grateful. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes it does, and thank you for being so honest with me, I really appreciate it. Good night, Henry." He shook Henry's hand and kissed his daughter's forehead. "Good night to you, too, my little Shules."

"Good night, Carlton. I'll see you in the morning."

Lassiter watched Henry walk to his car, put Shules in her seat and then drive away. He turned around and closed the door behind him. Even though he was tired and went straight to bed, sleep did not come easy to Lassiter that night.


	5. Juliet's Dream

Juliet tossed and turned all through the night. She thought that since she was leaving the hospital tomorrow she would have had a good night's sleep, but for some reason it would not come. At two o'clock in the morning, she did finely fall into a fitful sleep; her dream was not a restful one.

Juliet found herself outside an unfamiliar house. It was a simple little cottage made of bricks with the typical white picket fence around it. While standing there she could hear voices coming from inside. What surprised Juliet the most was it sounded like her and Shawn talking. Entering through gate she walked up to the front door but when she went to knock, the door disappeared and she could walk straight in.

When she did enter she saw it was just as simple on the inside as it was on the outside. There was a fire burning in the fire place and a couch had been placed in front of it. Calling out but getting no response, Juliet decided to look around. On the mantel piece above the fire place was a photo frame with a picture inside of it. Walking over to it she saw who was in the photo. It was Lassiter, Shawn, Gus and herself. They were all smiling and she guessed it was Shawn who was doing the bunny ears behind her head. What struck to her as strange was Lassiter was also smiling.

'What was this place? And why would it have this photo of us all, in it.' Juliet muttered.

"Jules, are you ok?"

A voice came from behind her and as she turned she saw Shawn coming from the kitchen. He was wiping off his hands as he looked down the small passage way leading to what must have been the bed rooms.

"Help me, Shawn."

Juliet jumped as she heard her own voice call out to him. Shawn disappeared down the hallway, but by the time she decides to follow he was back and he was helping her to the couch. Even though it shook Juliet to see herself in Shawn's arms it didn't feel funny that she was watching it. The other surprise was the fact that she was pregnant.

"Juliet, is that better?"

"No Shawn, I need to get to the hospital, the baby's on its way."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Shawn, my water just broke."

Juliet watched as she doubled over in pain. 'So this is mine and Shawn's place, we're married and I'm having our baby' Juliet reasoned with herself.

"Ok, I'll go and get the car ready and call the hospital to let them know we're on our way in."

As Shawn started to walk over to a bag that Juliet assumed was hers, pregnant Jules grabbed his arm. "You better call Carlton as well. He'll blow his top if he's not there for the birth of his child."

"Arr...Yeah you're right. Don't want him to kill me, not just yet anyway." With that Shawn walked away with suitcase in one hand, the phone glued to his ear with the other.

'Ok, not mine and Shawn's. It's mine and Lassiter's place and our baby. Maybe that's why he wants me to go home with him.'

Shawn re-entered the room and took Jules by the arm and helped her up. Noticing the stain on the seat, he screwed up his nose.

"What's up, Shawn?"

Oh, nothing. I just loved this old couch but when Lassie sees that, he'll want to get rid of it. It was the first place that we..."

"Shawn, I don't want to know what you and Carlton did on that couch, all I want to do is get the hospital, please."

"Ok, OK, grumpy. We'll go."

"Fine, call me grumpy but when you give birth. Oh that's right, you can't; that's why I'm having yours and Carlton's baby."

"Hey, you volunteered, remember."

"Sorry, it's the hormones. Can we just get going?"

Sure we can, oh and Lassie's going to meet us there."

'Now I am really lost, Shawn and Lassiter? And it's their baby?'

The next thing in the dream, Juliet finds herself in the back seat of her car. Shawn is driving and the pregnant Jules is in the front next to him. Although Shawn is driving fast he is still sticking to the speed limited and stopping at traffic lights and stop/give way signs. They were having a good run with all the lights being green. Then at the next set of lights, they weren't so lucky. Just as they got there the lights turn red. While they waited Jules turned to face Shawn.

"So, have you and Carlton decided on a name yet?"

"No."

"Who can't decided, you or him?"

"Both of us; I like some of the names he comes up with but they're too traditional and mine are, in his own words, 'too whacked out'."

"Oh! So what are you going to do?"

"I said we'll put all the names into a two hats, one for his and one for mine. Then we pull one name from each hat. Then put these two names into a hat and the first one pulled out will be the first name and the second one will be the middle name."

"And the last name will be?"

"Mine, because it really is mine, or at least that's what he says."

Just then the light turned to green and Shawn drove off. But pregnant Jules saw something that made her eyes grow wide.

"Look out, Shawn!"

There was a loud bang and the sound of tearing metal. Then silence. Juliet was now standing on the foot path watching the scene as people ran around in a panic. But she never took her eyes off the wreckage of what use to be her car.

Suddenly, Juliet sat straight up gasping for air. Looking around she sees that she is back in her hospital bed. Laying back down, tears start running down her face. She looks over to the clock which read five thirty. In three hours time Lassiter will be there to pick her up and take her to his home. Thinking about her dream, she shakes her head. That can't be what happened, why would she forget all of that if it was what happened. Tracing her hand over her stomach, Jules got up and went into the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror she lifts the top of her pyjamas. There, across her stomach, is a scar.

"Oh my god, what happened to the baby?"she cried.

As the realisation of what had happened hit her and all the memories of the last four years came rushing back, Jules collapsed onto the floor.


	6. A Fearful Nightmare

Lassiter tossed and turned all night long, finely sleep found him after he had grabbed one of Shawn's T-shirts and put it over his pillow. His dream started out the same as everyone he has had since that day.

"Carlton, Juliet's water has broken."

"Shawn, have you rang the hospital yet?"

"Yes."

"Have you put her bag into the car?"

"Yes, and I'm on my way back into the house now to get her as we speak."

"Fine, Shawn, my pineapple of my eye, I'll meet you there."

"Ok, love you, my bullet of love."

"Love you, too."

He hung up and walked as calmly as he could into the Chief's office. She was sitting at her desk going through some reports.

"Shawn just called. Juliet's water just broke and they're on the way to the hospital. I'm meeting them there, so bye." Without waiting for an answer, he walked out of her office, and was at the hospital in record time. Looking around he grabbed the nearest nurse and asked if they had arrived. She shook her head as she pulled out of his hold, gave him an evil smile as she muttered, 'I don't think they're ever going to get here' and then walked away.

He looked at the clock on the wall and its hands were flying around at super speed. When they stopped it had been five hours since Shawn had called. Then a hand fell on his shoulder and he turned around. Standing there, all covered in blood, was the Chief.

"Sorry, Carlton, we did our best. There wasn't much we could do."

"What happened?"

"A car accident, Shawn and Jules are in surgery right now."

"And the baby?"

"The baby is fine. What do you expect, it comes from two men."

"Sorry, Chief, I forgot, can I see it?"

"Sure!" and the chief handed Lassiter a little bundle of pink baby blankets.

Lassiter tried to find the baby, but all he was getting was baby blanket after baby blanket. He started to panic, and looked up at the chief for help. But what he saw made his blood freeze. There stood Juliet with the baby in her arms. She was standing over Shawn with her finger on the button that turned off Shawn's life support system.

"Juliet, please stop!" Lassiter yelled but it was too late. As he raced to them, (though he didn't seem to get any closer), he could hear the heart monitor, at first it was just the normal beep, beep, beep. Then it slowed down and then just a straight beeeeep. Shawn was gone and she had taken him away from him.

"Juliet, why?" he yelled

"Because I have what I wanted. I have my child. I didn't need him anymore."

"But, I needed him. And Shules is, my and Shawn's daughter."

"Sorry, Carlton, but she was mine and Shawn's. You don't really think I'll have a child for two men do you."

"No. You can't take her; she's all I have left. You've taken Shawn from me. Please don't take my daughter, too."

"She's my daughter. No papers were signed and Shawn is dead. You have no right to her."

With those words Juliet and the baby just faded away leaving Lassiter there with Shawn's body. He felt a hand on his shoulder but when he turned around he had to scream. Standing there was Shawn but he was in a bad state of decay. The flesh was dripping from his face and one of his eyes was missing, Lassiter could see a worm inside the gaping hole.

"Shawn?"

"Lassiter how could you, how could you let Jules kill me. She killed me and you let her walk away with our child. Didn't you ever love me?"

"Yes, Shawn, I love you. I have always loved you. I couldn't stop her; I tried but I couldn't get there in time and then she pointed out I have no rights to our...no, her baby; hers and yours."

"You're nothing, Lassiter, you were a bad cop, a bad husband, a bad lover and you would have been a bad father. I hate you, you really didn't want a child with me and now you got your wish. I'm gone and you got rid of the child, just what you wanted."

"No, Shawn, it's not what I wanted, it's not. I love you, I need you. Please come back to me, please."

Lassiter fell to his knees and then all the way to the floor crying. When he looked up he was laying on Shawn's grave. He looked back down to the ground but the earth was not below him anymore, only Shawn's rotting corpse. Suddenly Shawn's hand grabs his shirt; well if you love me so much Carlton, then join me, and Lassiter felt himself being dragged into the ground, as the dirt started to fall in on top of him.

"Nooooo!"

Lassiter woke up just as he fell out of bed and the covers fell on top of him. Looking around with eyes that looked like a frightened cat he realised it was only a nightmare. Looking at the clock he realised that he had to pick up Jules in the next couple of hours anyway, so he got up and went into the bathroom to get ready. He really didn't want to do this, he really didn't. With Jules in the house he wouldn't be able to see Shawn or Shules as often as he wanted to. As he let the water wash away the dream, he prayed.

"Oh god, please don't let that dream come true. Please give me back my Spencer so we may raise our daughter together. Please."


	7. Juliet Remembers

Lassiter rushed out of his house, into his car and drove as quickly as he could to the hospital. Because of the bad dream, or rather nightmare, he had and the fact that he didn't get much sleep, he had fallen asleep on the couch.

He was awakened by the phone ringing and as soon as he heard the ring tone, panic started to rise inside of him. He had set this tone on his phone to the hospital's number so he'd always know it was them ringing. Looking over to the clock he could easily see he wasn't running late to pick up Jules, so... why would they be ringing? If not for Jules, then...!

"Hello, Lassiter speaking."

"Good morning, Detective. It's Dr Mann here. I know you're coming in to pick up Detective O'Hara but I was wondering if you could come in a little early please."

"Why?"

"I need to talk to you and Mr Spencer together, and he is already on his way in. So could you please come in now?"

Lassiter couldn't hear any urgency in the doctor's voice, but assumed that the Doctor was trained to keep out that type of tone.

"Very well, I'm on my way."

"Thank you, Detective; I'll see you when you get here. Oh and please meet me in Detective O'Hara's room."

After the doctor hung up, he started to wonder what could have happened to Juliet. He didn't know what to think so he just grabbed his coat and left his house.

He got to the hospital in record time. As he entered Jules' room, he saw that Henry was already there, and Jules was holding Shules on her lap. Lassiter jumped a little as the doctor walked up behind him.

"Ahh, Detective, you are here, good, that is good. Now you are wondering why I called you here, yes."

"Yes, Doctor, I am." Lassiter said, but he did not take his eyes off Juliet, as the dream was still too fresh in his mind. The dream was so real, that Lassiter walked over to Jules and put out his hands for the child. When Juliet handed him Shules, Lassiter let out the breath he was holding and a sigh of relief when he saw it truly was Shules in the pink blanket. Looking at Juliet he could see a confused look on her face, but he disregarded it and turned to face the doctor.

"Well this morning Detective O'Hara was found lying on her bathroom floor by one of the nurses. She had a breakthrough last night and now has all her memory back."

"You do?" Lassiter said turning back to face Juliet.

"Yes, Carlton, I do. I remember you and Shawn getting married, and us all agreeing about having this wonderful child together. You and Shawn have a beautiful daughter, Carlton."

"No we don't."

"What?"

"You and Shawn have a beautiful daughter. She won't be mine until the papers are filled in and signed."

"Oh, Carlton," Juliet could see the pain his eyes. "She will always be your daughter and I'm sure Shawn will wake up soon. And like me, you'll be able to take him home. That's if you still want me to come home with you."

"Yes, Juliet, I do. But at least with your memory back, I can take Shules home as well."

"Juliet, I will want to see you again in, say, two days just to see how you are going."

Juliet nodded her consent and the doctor left them to pack up all of Juliet's belongings so she could go home.


	8. Shawn's Nightmare

As Lassiter and Juliet were talking and packing, Henry excused himself and took Shules to see Shawn. As he entered the room, he could see that Shawn had his eyes opened. But like the many times before over the last month or so, he had learnt that Shawn was not really awake, but just dreaming while in the coma. He wondered what Shawn could be dreaming about.

Shawn was standing in his and Lassiter's home, but something was wrong. There was blood, lots, of blood, everywhere. He looked down and lying beside him was a little baby. He reached down and picked up the child, as he stood up he heard a scream.

"Let go of my baby!"

When he turned around, he saw Juliet standing there. Fury was burning in her eyes as she started to run at him. Startled, Shawn stepped backwards, but at the same time he dropped the baby. As Jules dived to catch the child, a pair of hands grabbed Shawn from behind, roughly turning him and pushing him up against the wall.

"How dare you hurt that child, Spencer!"

"I didn't mean to, Lassie. I didn't mean too."

Lassiter started to shake Shawn violently, which caused the blood which was running down the walls to start to cover him. As he tried to get away, Lassiter pushed him into the wall harder, and more of the blood flowed over him.

Suddenly Shawn bolted straight up in bed, gasping for air. As he got his breathing under control, he started to look around for Lassiter. When he found the bed empty, Shawn got up and headed out to the kitchen. There he found Lassiter and Jules in each other's arms, the kiss was heated and Lassiter had Jules sitting up on the table with her dress pulled up and her legs wrapped around him. Just a little way over was the baby in a crib.

"Lassie, Jules, what's going on?" Shawn asked a little scared of what the answer might be. Lassiter broke the kiss with Jules and looked at Shawn like he was mad.

"Spencer, what are you doing here?"

"I live here with you, why are you kissing Juliet?"

"You're a fool Shawn, don't you get it yet. We were just using you, so we could be together." Juliet said.

"No! Lassie... Tell me she's lying?"

"Sorry, Shawn, but Jules isn't lying, and we've got a daughter as well."

"Shawn looked over at the child and back at them. Only now they were at the accident scene.

"You should be dead, that was the plan. Why didn't you die, Shawn?"

Shawn turned around and saw Jules standing there. Evil was burning in her eyes. Then the scene changed again. Now they were in a room with everyone there.

"Jules, what is going on?"

"I want Lassiter and the baby, but you're in the way, Shawn. So I'm going to have to kill you!"

With this, Jules pulled out a large knife and started to move towards him.

"Dad...! Help me... please!"

"No, Shawn, you've only ever been a disappointment to me all your life, the least you could do is make me proud by dying." Just as Henry said this, he plunged a knife into Shawn's stomach. Pulling it out, he just turned around and walked away.

Shawn then felt another knife as it entered his back. He turned around to find Gus holding a knife with a blood stained hand.

Gus looked up at him. "You just can't die, can you Shawn; you have to be the big man. God I wish you would just die and get it over and done with."

Then Gus just faded away leaving Jules in front of him with her hand raised, and a knife in it! As she brought it down, he reached up and grabbed her arm stopping the movement. Looking over to Chief Vick and Buzz, he pleaded to them.

"Chief, Buzz... Help me... Please!"

The Chief shook her head and buzz looked down at his feet.

"NO, Mr. Spencer, I will not help you. In fact, I think that you dying this way... is way too good for you. You lied, cheated and humiliated my station for years. Well done, O'Hara."

"I believed in you, Shawn. I believed in you, and it was all lies," Buzz said.

Then as they both turned away, they, too, disappeared.

Shawn shook his head. "What's happening, why is all of this happening?"

"Because you will not die, Spencer," Lassiter was heard saying in the back ground.

Shawn was losing the fight with Jules and hearing Lassiter say those words was not helping him one bit.

"I thought you loved me, Carlton."

"So did I, once, but Jules showed me love without lies."

Shawn now could see Lassiter; he was standing there with the baby in his hands.

"Please, Lassie. Help me, please?"

"I can't, Shawn, I just can't." Lassiter turned away looking at the baby. Shawn, with tears running down his face turn back to Jules who was looking at him with laughter in her eyes!

"Everyone has left you, Shawn, they want you to die. So just die."

Shawn then felt the knife slice through his throat and then through his chest and into his heart. The next thing he knew, he was on the ground and Jules had climb on top of him continuing to stab him.

He could see everyone's faces and they were all saying the same thing.

"Die, Shawn, die."

Henry's head snapped up, as the heart monitor started to go crazy. Looking back at Shawn he could see his body starting to convulse. Then all hell broke loose as nurses and doctors came rushing in. One nurse grabbed Henry and started to push him out of the door. Just as it closed on Henry, he heard the heart monitor flat line.

About a minute later Lassiter and Jules were by his side.

"Henry, what's going on?" asked Lassiter, while he watched Henry with concerned eyes.

"I don't know, Carlton. Shawn started to convulse and...and they pushed me out of the room. I heard the heart monitor flat line. Oh god! Shawn has flat lined!"

Then it was a rush for Jules to grab the baby, and Lassiter to grab Henry as he collapsed into a heap on the floor.

For Henry, everything went black.


	9. Gus? Where is Gus?

In five minutes, what should have been a happy time of picking up Juliet to take her home had turned into hell! As Lassiter and Juliet walked out of her room, all hell had broken loose. What looked like every available nurse and doctor rushed into Shawn's room, and Henry, holding Shules, was being pushed out of it.

They both ran up to him to find out what was happening, but all he said was that 'Shawn had flat lined'. Then it was a rush for one of them to grab Shules as Henry collapsed onto the floor. Then even more doctors and nurses were there to help with Henry. Lassiter just stepped back and looked at Jules and the baby, then the closed door that had Shawn hidden behind it.

"Carlton! Carlton, let's go and sit in the waiting room, ok?"

Lassiter just stared at her, nodded and then they walked away. After they got to the waiting room, Lassiter just dropped into a chair. He leaned forward and put his head into his hands and started to quietly cry.

"Shawn! Oh god! Shawn!"

"Lassiter, I... I know this is hard for you, but he WILL be ok."

"You don't know that. Maybe his body has just given out from all the injuries. I... I... just wish I could go and see him one more time, or hear his voice again."

"You will, you need to believe you will."

"Thanks," he said, sadness filling his voice. "I hope they don't keep us waiting too long before they tell us what's happening."

"They'll let us know when they can."

"You're right. Can I have Shules?"

"Of course you can, she's your daughter after all and Carlton..."

"Yes, Juliet?"

"You've done a good job with her on your own. Oh, that didn't come out right, sorry."

"It's ok, and I didn't do it all on my own. Everyone at the station helped, either raising money to help with the cost, or their partners cooked and cleaned for me. But if it wasn't for McNab, the Chief and Henry, I don't know how I would have survived. How we would have survived."

"I'm glad you weren't on your own, and that everyone got behind you, and helped look after Shules. Carlton...,"

"Yes, Juliet?"

"What happened to the person who hit us?"

"He was killed outright. I was here waiting for you and Shawn to arrive when the chief came in and told me. I didn't even get to see either of you; they had rushed you both into surgery, as soon as you arrived here."

"Sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, Jules. It was just one of those things. Shawn was hurt the worst, as his side of the car took the full force of the impact. Jules, they had to bring him back five times, three on the way to hospital, and two while he was in surgery, and now this."

Lassiter pulled Shules closer to him, and the tears began to fall again.

"Carlton, I..."

"If I lose him, I don't know if I will be able to cope. God, Shawn, please fight, please come back to me."

Jules watched her partner, break down. Here was a very strong man who, when she first met him never smiled, let alone let his feelings be shown, was now on the verge of a full blown break down and there was nothing she could say, that could help. She just placed a hand on his back and started to rub. Suddenly she realised that she hadn't seen Gus yet.

"Carlton?"

"Yes, Jules"

"Carlton, I know this might seem unimportant, but where has Gus been?"

"Who?"

"Gus? Shawn's, best friend. Burton Guster?"

"Oh, Guster!"

"Yeah, Gus. Where is he?"

"Gus...Gus couldn't handle Shawn being this way. So, when he was offered a temporary job in New York, he took it."

"Oh, I'm surprised."

"So was everyone else."

Lassiter's eyes caught a glimpse of someone in the doorway.

"What the...Guster?"

Standing in the doorway was the person of topic. He looked tired and drained. Although he looked the same, his clothes were not. Instead of the neat and tidy suit he usually wore, he was now in a pair of ragged, faded blue jeans, a dirty, ripped T-shirt and a pair of dirty white sneakers.

"Gus! What happened?" Juliet said as she got up and walked over to him.

"Why?"

As he spoke, she could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Gus, are you drunk?"

"Why? Why do you need to know?" His voice was a little slurred and now a closer look, showed he was using the doorway to hold himself up. Jules could see his eyes were glazed over from the alcohol and from tears.

"Guster, sit down before you fall down. We've got enough trouble with having two in hospital already, without adding you as well."

"Well, aren't you the big man, Detective. You've got Shawn, your baby and Jules..."

Gus whispered Juliet's name then he started to fall forward. Grabbing him, Jules lead Gus to a seat.

"Gus. What happened to you?"

With anger in his voice and glowing in his eyes, Gus looked at Lassiter. "He did!"

"What! I!"

"What do you mean Lassiter did?"

"He took Shawn away from me. Because of him I lost Shawn's friendship. It was Lassie this, and Lassie that. Then, when they were dating, it was. 'Sorry, Gus, I've got a date with Carlton or we'll catch up later, I've got to go and see Lassie'. Then you..." His glare fell onto Jules. "You offered to give them a baby, and then it was just you three. I felt like the third wheel that didn't belong any more. I didn't belong in Shawn's life any more, then the accident and... I just couldn't cope and I left. I started to drink, and I lost my job, and..."

Gus was now crying, his whole body shook with the tears as they fell. Putting her arms around Gus' shoulders, Jules pulled him into a strong hug, and as he turned, she allowed him let it all out onto her shoulder. Jules shoulder hurt, but not as much as the pain in her chest to see Gus like this.

Lassiter just stared at him. He hadn't realised that Guster felt this way, and neither did Shawn. Shaking his head, he looked down at Shules asleep in his arms. After about five minutes, Gus had calmed down a bit and tried to straighten himself out. He looked a Lassiter

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't blame you for my problems. It's just..."

"It's ok, Guster. And I'm sorry that we didn't see how you felt. Would you like to hold your niece, Shules?"

"Niece...Shules, who are you talking about?" That's when Gus saw the sleeping baby in Lassiter's arms. She looked so peaceful. He looked back up at Lassiter. "This is Shawn's and Juliet's child?"

"Yes, her name is Shules Guster Spencer. Do you want to hold her?"

"Yes, please!"

Gus took the sleeping child from Lassiter. Looking at her as she snuggled into his hold, his expression softened. Then he handed her back. Both Lassiter and Jules were confused.

"I better not hold her too long; my hands shake too much now days, and I might drop her."

"Thank you; we've already had a close call with that today."

"You did, who...?"

"Henry nearly dropped Shules when he passed out about half an hour ago. Shawn had... Shawn has just flat lined, and they pushed Henry out of the room, and he... he collapsed."

"Shawn... Mr. Spencer, are they ok?"

"We don't know. We're waiting here to find out."

"Carlton was here picking me up, I was going home today."

"Oh my god, not Shawn."

Gus got up to leave, but Lassiter stopped him.

"You can stay here and wait with us... that is, if you want. You are Shawn's brother after all."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course we are."

"Thank you, Detective Lassiter."

"Why not try calling me Carlton, Gus."

"Ok, Detective... Hmm, I mean Carlton."

With that they sat there filling Gus in with what had happened while he was gone.


	10. Good News and Bad News

When the doctors finely came to let them know what was happening, they found both Lassiter and Gus asleep and Juliet sitting quietly holding the baby. Jules looked up when they walked in, and seeing that the doctors were there, she woke up the two boys.

"O'Hara, what do you want?"

"The doctors are here!"

This made them both sit up straight for a moment then they both then stretched and yawned. Lassiter got up and walked over to the doctors.

"I'm Detective Lassiter. Are you here about my husband, Shawn Spencer, or my father-in-law Henry Spencer?" Lassiter was trying hard to maintain his composure and the only way he knew how to do that was to be 'Detective' Lassiter, not 'Lassie'.

"I'm Dr. Troop, and I'm here about your husband."

"And I'm Dr. John, and I'm here about Henry Spencer."

Lassiter stared at Dr. Troop. "Well... since Shawn was the worst, we better get that part over and done with first."

"Ok. Well as you know Shawn just had a..."

"Shawn flat lined. We know that. Did... Did you get him back or..."

"He's back with us at the moment and he is stable, but..."

Gus and Juliet were now standing next to Lassiter. "But what Doctor?" Gus asked.

"We're not sure if he is going to make it through the night. I suggest that you take the time to say your goodbyes."

"No!"

"Sorry, Detective Lassiter?"

"I! Said! No! I am not going to say goodbye to my husband, but I am going to see him. Now Dr. John, how is Henry?"

Dr. John looked at his colleague, then back at Lassiter and friends.

"Mr. Spencer is fine."

"But Henry collapsed," Juliet stated.

"Yes, he did. He collapsed from a combination of exhaustion and shock when his son flat lined. We've gotten fluids into him and Mr. Spencer is getting better."

"We haven't yet told him about his son's condition," added Dr. Troop.

You'll just tell him what you told us, but leave off your claim that he won't make it through the night, because Shawn will make it!"

"Detective," the doctor said, getting Lassiter's attention. "You need to..."

"I have listened to you; doctors have given that speech many times before. And many times before, they have been wrong. Shawn is going to make it and nothing you say will change my mind."

"Very well, Detective, would you like to see him now?"

"Yes, please, and I'm sorry, but Shawn is going to make it!"

"Ok, Detective. Follow me."

"Do you two mind if I..."

"Go, Carlton, we'll be fine," Jules said.

"We might just duck in and see Henry," added Gus.

"Juliet?"

"Yes Carlton."

Lassiter held out his arms. "Do you mind, I want to take Shules with me."

"Of course you do, Carlton, here!" Jules handed over Shules and then watched Lassiter walk away.

"Please tell me he's going to be ok, Gus?"

"I can't, Jules, I wish I could, but I can't."

Gus put his hand on Jules' arm and they walked off to see Henry.


	11. Henry's Fine, Shawn is...

Juliet and Gus walked into Henry's room and were a little surprised to see him sitting in a chair and not in the bed. As they entered, Henry looked up from the book he was reading. The look of happiness at seeing them quickly turned to worry.

"Juliet, Gus, you're back. Is everything ok?"

"Yes, Mr. Spencer, it's all fine. Lassiter has been allowed to see Shawn, so he took Shules with him and we thought we'd just check up on you," Juliet said a little bit too quickly.

"What is wrong with Shawn?" Henry said with a bite of anger.

"He's fine, Mr. Spencer; they're just a bit worried about the after effects of his latest episode," Gus added. It was as close to the truth as he could get.

Henry didn't say anything but he eyed off the two.

"So how are you doing, Mr. Spencer?" Juliet asked before Henry could ask any more questions.

"Good, just a fainting spell, they think the stress of the last couple of hours was just too much for me. Burton, good to see you're back, but what happened?"

"I'm sorry, sir?"

"You look like you have fallen over about a hundred times."

"Oh, yes, umm... I haven't had a very good month, sir and I..."

"Gus, what happened?" Henry said with concern.

"I left, Mr. Spencer, because I couldn't cope with everything. I started drinking and I lost my job. I've been living on the streets for the last two weeks," Gus said, the shame visible on his face.

"Gus, why didn't you come to me or your parents? You know we would have helped you."

"Yes sir, but I felt like a failure and guilty about the way I felt about Shawn at the time. To be honest, I don't even know why I came back."

"Maybe, somehow you knew Shawn needed you. God knows, he needs us all right now."

"Yes sir."

"O'Hara, maybe you better take him to my place and get some of the clothes Shawn has there. Also, go ahead and get cleaned up; what do you reckon?"

"Yes sir, and thank you, Mr. Spencer."

"You're welcome, Gus. Off you go now."

Yes, Mr. Spencer," Juliet said. As they walked out, she turned to Gus. "I'll just let Carlton know where we're going."

"Ok," Gus said, nodding. "I'll meet you at the waiting room."

And then they parted ways.

Meanwhile, in Shawn's room...

Lassiter walked into the room and stopped when he saw all the extra wires coming from the machines around the bed and going to Shawn. He knew what to expect, the doctor had warned him, but actually seeing it was a totally different thing altogether.

Shaking his head, he looked over to where a crib was set up for him to put Shules into. He walked over and put their sleeping daughter down, and then went over to sit by Shawn's side. Lassiter took Shawn's hand and noted how cold it felt. Rubbing his thumb over the skin, Lassiter's eyes started to blur as the tears started to build up. As they started to run down his cheek, Juliet put her head through the door.

"Carlton?"

"Yes, Juliet?"

"Mr. Spencer is doing well and should be released soon; he suggested I take Gus to his place to get cleaned up so I'm leaving the hospital for a while."

"Ok, O'Hara, and thank you for letting me know."

"I'll let you know when we get back."

"Fine, see you when you get back."

Juliet left to find Gus; she couldn't help but wonder if Lassiter was going to be alright.

Lassiter sat there for a little bit more letting the silent tears to fall and wash away some of the tension he had building up. Then he started to talk, and talk he did.

"Shawn, why are you trying to leave me? I know our relationship started off shaky; hell I hated you so much when we first meet that I either wanted to lock you up or shoot you. You were loud and you flaunted yourself all over the station and me. You made a mockery out of everything I believed in. But you were one hell of a detective."

Carlton looked back at their daughter as she rolls over and starts to suck her thumb; turning back to Shawn he takes a deep breath and continues.

"It was this amazing way that you did things, which caught my attention, even if I didn't know how you did them and it wasn't just solving crimes. It was how you could just walk into a room that was full of people who were down in the dumps and instantly the room would lighten up and everyone would suddenly get this feeling of hope."

Lassiter looked down to Shawn's hand, where he had been rubbing was now warm and slightly red. Bringing the hand it up to his face, Lassiter lightly kissed it before putting it back down.

"Shawn, you took my empty broken heart and with the light that shined from you, fixed it and filled it up again. Or at least I thought that's what you did, but I was wrong, you filled it only so far so I had room to allow others in as well; like our daughter. Please, Shawn, we need you, your dad, Jules, me and your daughter, but most of all, Guster needs you right now. We were all too caught up in our own lives to see that we were hurting him and now he has hit rock bottom. I don't know how to help him, Shawn, only you would. So please get off this coma kick you're on and come back to us."

Lassiter laid his head on the edge of the bed; the tears now flowed freely as the he let out quiet sobs. Lassiter was so lost in his sadness that at first he didn't feel Shawn's hand move, but as it started to wrap itself around his hand he couldn't ignore the feeling anymore. Raising his head he just stared at the hand that was now gripping his, then the sound of Shawn struggling to take a breath.

He stood up just as the alarms started to go off again and he backed away as the doctors and nurses came rushing in. One of the nurses took Lassiter's arm and led him outside and once there she handed him Shules.

"Please wait in the waiting room," she said, watching Lassiter to see what he was going to do.

Just then Henry walked up and placing a hand on Lassiter's shoulder, he nodded to the nurse.

"I'll take him from here."

The nurse gave them both a smile and re-entered the room closing the door behind her. Henry guided Lassiter to the room that had started to become a second home to them both.


	12. Shawn Wakes Up

As soon as they were in the waiting room, Henry moved Lassiter over to a chair and made him sit down. He then sat down next to the Detective and slowly took Shules, all the time watching Lassiter and trying to determine how he was. He knew how much all of this was affecting him, so for Lassiter it must have been a lot worst. But at the same time he needed to know what had just happened in Shawn's room. Reaching over, Henry touched Lassiter's arm. Lassiter at first did nothing, and then he slowly turned his head and looked at the hand. He then raised his eyes and looked at Henry.

"Carlton," Henry said slowly, with a quiet and calm voice. "What happened in there?"

"Shawn," Lassiter said turning back and looking down at his hands. "Shawn came to."

"Are you sure?" Henry didn't want to ask it, but there were a few times everyone thought Shawn had woken up, only to find it was just a false hope.

"Yes, Henry, I'm sure. At first I wasn't, but he grabbed my hand and squeezed it. Then I could hear him struggling to breathe; then the alarms went off and a nurse was pushing me out of the room." Suddenly Lassiter's eyes bolted opened and a look of horror formed on his face. "Oh god, Shules, she's still in there, I've got to go and..."

"Easy there, Carlton, Shules is right here. The nurse that put you out of the room had handed her to you. When we got here, I took her from you. She's fine," Henry said all the while talking slowly and watching Lassiter who was still looking at his hands.

After Henry had finished explaining about Shules, Lassiter looked at his daughter lying in her grandfather's arms. He gave a small smile at the child that was too busy sucking her fist to worry about anything else. He then raised his eyes too look at his father in law.

"Henry, what if this is another attack? What if he doesn't survive this one? Or he is badly brain..."

"Stop it, Carlton. Stop it right there. We can't live on the 'what if's'. We need to think positive and believe. This is Shawn, HE WILL BE ALL RIGHT," Henry said with as much belief he could muster. But he couldn't deny that he too, was having those types of thoughts.

Both men had fallen silent, and just sat there waiting. Waiting to find out whether or not their son and husband, was going to be alright. Neither had taken notice of the time passing, until both O'Hara and Gus walked in. Henry was the first to notice them standing there with worried looks on their faces. Juliet looked like she too had taken time to get a change of clothes and Gus looked a hundred times better. He was dressed in an old suit of Shawn's and the matching shoes. He looked like himself again, but in his eyes Henry could still see the reflections that had hunted him over the lasts few years.

"Gus, Juliet, you're back already?" Henry asked confused, but the sudden break in the silence had also caught Lassiter's attention.

He looked up at the two of them, but just stared blankly at them as if he could see them, but at the same time he couldn't.

"Mr. Spencer, we've been gone for over two hours." Juliet's reply had both men looking at their watches.

"Why are you all sitting in here instead of being in Shawn's room?" Gus added.

"Because, just after you left, Shawn came to and then he had another episode. We've been waiting for the doctors to give us some news," Lassiter whispered.

"No, not another one; that can't be good," Jules said as she walked over and gave Lassiter a hug.

"No, it's not," Lassiter replied. The others could hear the sadness in his voice and they were sure he was crying.

Gus wasn't sure what to do. He hadn't been part of their lives for so long that he felt like he was intruding. Just as he went to walk over to sit down, a young doctor walked in. As soon as he stopped, he had four people standing in front of him.

"Mr. Spencer's family I guess," The doctor said with a smile.

"Yes, is Shawn ok?" asked Lassiter, fear welling up inside of him.

"Yes, yes he is and as long as you don't stay too long you can go in and see him now."

"Then Shawn is awake?" asked Henry

"Yes, he is. I will warn you, he has a long way to go, so don't stress him out too much. We will run a few more tests over the next couple of days to see if any damage has been done, but from what we can see, he doing well."

"Thank you, Doctor, thank you," Lassiter said shaking the doctor's hand.

"Easy, Carlton, you'll hurt the doctor that way. Come on, let's go and see Shawn," Henry said placing a hand on Lassiter's shoulder.

As they approached Shawn's door, Gus started to slow his pace. Lassiter had noticed this and turned too looked at him. "Is there a problem, Guster?"

"I don't think I should go in there," Gus said looking at the door.

"Gus, why not?" O'Hara asked crossing her arms in front of her. But before he could answer Lassiter butted in.

"Because he thinks he doesn't belong here anymore and you're wrong, Guster. Gus, you're Shawn's best friend, you have been for almost all your life and I would never want to come between you two, ever. And I'm sorry if I did, it was never my intention."

"Thank you, Carlton," Gus said shyly. "But are you sure you want me in there?"

"Yes, Shawn needs us all and so do you. But to be honest, I think you and Shawn really need each other, more." Lassiter said patting Gus on the back.

"Ok, let's go," and with that they walked in.

As they entered, they could see Shawn sitting up in bed. He still had wires and tubes coming from him, but he was awake and that was all they cared about right now.


	13. Something is Wrong with Shawn

Shawn lay quietly on the hospital bed. The doctor had said that he would go out and tell everyone that he was awake and send them in to see him. He lay there thinking. He was trying hard to remember what had happened to him and why he was in the hospital.

As the images flashed before him, he slowly recalled calling Carlton about Jules going into labour, getting into the car and then glimpsing a car coming through the red light at them. He shivered at the thought and then the dream images came. Did they truly set him up? Did they really want him dead? Was the happiness and love that he been searching for all his life, a lie? Just then the door opened.

He watched them walk in. The first one in was his dad and although the doctor's had told him that it had only been about six weeks. His dad looked like he had aged so much. His hair had nearly gone all white and there were a lot more wrinkles in his face. Henry looked tired, very tired, but he still stood tall.

The next one was Gus. It had been nearly two months since he had seen his friend and he could honestly say that the time hadn't been kind to him. Gus' eyes were blood shot and his walk was slightly unsteady which told Shawn that Gus had been drinking. His eyes were pale and he had also lost a lot of weight, as the suit that he was wearing hung loosely from his body. Shawn guessed that Gus hadn't eaten, or at least not properly, for some time. This concerned Shawn and it was making him worried that something was very wrong with Gus. But he would ask later because now his eyes fell onto Carlton and Jules, who were just entering the room.

Carlton was half facing Jules and was handing something to her. He watched the interaction between the two. He watched their faces and their body language, and once he realised that it was a baby Carlton was passing to her, the fear and images of the dream came rushing back. Shawn started to panic.

Carlton faced Shawn after handing Shules to her mother, only to see a scared look on Shawn's face. The smile he was wearing was changed to a worried look and Lassiter looked at Henry to see if he too could see it. Henry was also watching Shawn with a concerned look. Lassiter realised it was Shules who Shawn was staring at and so did Juliet.

"Carlton, maybe I should take Shules outside with me for a little while," Juliet said.

"Ok, Juliet, and thank you."

"You're welcome, Carlton. Shawn, I'll catch up with you soon." After giving Shawn a friendly smile, Juliet left.

Shawn had just stared at her and Shules suspiciously and didn't move his eyes until the door closed behind them. He then turned his eyes to Lassiter. Lassiter could see fear, hurt and anger and he could fell they were all directed at him.

"Shawn, are you ok?" asked Henry.

"What do you expect, Dad. I've been in a car crash; of course I'm not ok," Shawn snapped at Henry, without taken his eyes of Lassiter.

"Shawn, would you like me to leave?" Lassiter asked, tears starting to well up in his eyes.

"Yes!" Shawn answered through clenched teeth.

"Ok," Lassiter replied as he swallowed hard. As he turned to leave, silent tears started to run down his face. Why was Shawn so angry at him? What had he done? Just then, Lassiter remembered how Shawn was watching him and Jules with Shules. Had Shawn forgotten them and thought that he and Juliet were together and Shules was their child? God, he hoped that was all it was, because that gave him hope that he could easily win Shawn back.

"Right, Shawn, what the hell was that?" Henry said a little bit louder then he should have.

"Mr. Spencer, remember what the doctor said." Gus looked between the two Spencer men.

"What do you mean, Dad?" Shawn replied with the same anger he had used on Lassiter. "Why did you bring them in here? They just want me out of the way so they can be together now that they have a child. But then why am I telling you this, after all, you all want me dead and... And, Arr..." Shawn suddenly leaned forward, grabbing his chest and gasping for air.

As Henry grabs Shawn, Gus grabbed the call button and pressed it.

"Shawn, try taking slow, shallow breaths. Come on like this." Henry started to show Shawn what he meant. Shawn had slowed his breathing as he looked at his dad with confusion.

Then suddenly Henry was gone and standing in his place was a doctor. Shawn glanced around, only to see both his dad and Gus being pushed out the door. Lying back on the bed, he allowed the doctor and nurses to treat him.

"Henry, what happened?" Lassiter asked as they walked into the waiting room. "Did you find out why Shawn seemed angry at me and Juliet?"

"Sort of, you two better sit down for this." Henry said as he, himself, sat down.

"Mr. Spencer?" Juliet asked concern written all over her face.

"Gus, can you take Shules from Juliet, please."

"Yes sir," Gus replied as he took the small bundle and then sat down next to Henry.

"From what Shawn said, and trust me, it wasn't much, he thinks we all want him dead."

"WHAT!" Lassiter shouted as he stood up.

"NO, no, that can't be right, Mr. Spencer. What makes you think that Shawn thinks that?" Juliet said holding her hands up to her face.

"You're wrong, you must have misheard him," Lassiter said as he paced back and forth. He then stopped and looked at Henry. "What did he actually say to you?"

"When I asked him what that was all about, him asking you to leave, he said 'Why did you bring them in here? They just want me out of the way, so they can be together. Especially now that they have the child they wanted'. And then he informed me, that I wanted him dead." Henry lowered his head and then continued. "Then he grabbed his chest and was having trouble breathing. We're back here because the nurses kicked us out of the room."

Lassiter sank down into a nearby chair, placing his head into his hands. He let the tears flow again. "Oh God, Shawn, why; why is this happening to us?"

Henry walked over to him and placed a hand on Lassiter shoulder. "I think Shawn is just confused. We just need to give him some time, that's all."

"Do you? What if it's more than confusion? What if Shawn has had some type of brain damage and he can never get over it? What if I've, we've, lost him forever?"

"Stop it right now. Shawn needs us and those types of thoughts are not going to help him," Gus said suddenly speaking. "The anger that he showed also had the sound of hurt mixed in it. What we need to find out, is what made him think that now that Shules is born, that you wouldn't want him."

"That's what I don't understand. After I left I thought about it and the way he was watching me, Juliet and Shules, you would think he thought we were together. But as you said why, and if it is that, at least I know he does still remember about us."

"Well, I know you won't like what I have to say right now, but I think only Gus should see Shawn. He seemed to be the only one Shawn wasn't angry at and we need him to keep his stress level down, so Shawn can heal."

"You're right; I don't like it, but you are also right that we need to keep Shawn happy and if it means I don't see him for a while so be it," Lassiter said with a shaky voice.

"I agree too, Mr. Spencer," added Juliet

Just then the doctor came back in. "What part of do not too upset him, didn't you people understand?"

"We didn't mean to. When we first went in there and he seemed upset with Juliet and Shules, so they both left," Henry explained.

"And when he still seemed upset, and it was directed at me I asked him if he wanted me to leave. He said yes, so I did," Lassiter added.

"So what happened then?" asked the doctor.

"I asked Shawn what was going on and he told me that Lassiter and O'Hara wanted him gone now that they have the baby. He also said that I wanted him dead, and then everything went crazy," Henry finished off.

"What could have made Shawn think like that, Doctor?" asked Gus.

"A few things could have affected him. It could have just been the drugs we used while he was in the coma. There could be brain damage, either from the drugs, the accident or a combination of both. Or it could just simply be, while he was in the coma, he'd had some sort of dream and he thinks that the events of that dream are real. Unfortunately only time will tell us the answer."

"That's what we thought. So, since Gus here didn't seem to have Shawn's anger aimed at him, we've decided that he should be the only one to see Shawn at the moment."

"Sounds like a plan to me, Mr. Spencer, but I think we might have to leave it until tomorrow," the doctor said and then he left.

"Well, I think we all better get going," Henry said. "After all, you haven't even gotten home yet, Jules, and you differently need some sleep, Carlton. So you three get going and I'll check in later with you."

"You've got it, Henry." Lassiter took Shules from Gus. "Goodnight, Henry, Gus," he said nodding his head at them as he started to walk out the door.

"Goodnight, you two," added Jules as she follows Lassiter out carrying her small bag.

"Good night, Carlton, Jules," both Henry and Gus said as they watched them leave.

"Well, I better get going too, Mr. Spencer," Gus said.

"And where to, may I ask," Henry said folding his arms across his chest.

"I, I'll find somewhere, I guess."

"You already have found somewhere, Gus. If you're not ready to go and see your mum and dad, then you are coming home with me."

"But, I..."

"NO butts about it, you look like you haven't eaten for a while and it will give us a chance to talk. So, do I lead the way or do you?"

"Thank you, sir," Gus said giving in. He knew it was a battle he couldn't win and he would be grateful for some home cooked food and a roof over his head again. So with his head down, he followed Henry out of the room.


	14. That Night at Lassiter's

Lassiter slowly pulled up into his drive way. He stopped the engine and just stared out into the darkness. He couldn't get over the fact that Shawn thought he didn't want him anymore now that Shules was born; and also the fact that he thought that they all wanted him dead. He leaned his head against the steering wheel and allowed a few tears to fall. He sat back up when he heard Shules let out a little cry.

Turning, he saw O'Hara trying to calm the little one by leaning over the back of her seat. Smiling at the sight, he shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts that had been consuming him since they left the hospital. He had to think of Shules and she needed him to be strong for both of them. He needed to believe they would get through this somehow and Shawn would soon be home with them both.

"You ready to go in, O'Hara?" Lassiter asked. He couldn't help, but laugh a little when he saw her jump, bumping her head on the roof, especially with the way she was on her knees leaning over the seat.

"That wasn't fair, Carlton. I could have hurt myself and yes, if you're ready to go in, so am I," Juliet said with a little pout on her face.

"Ok, you get Shules and I'll grab your bag."

"That's fine with me." With that they both climbed out of the car.

As they walked up to the front door, Lassiter noticed the Chief's car parked at the curb. Realising that the Chief must be inside he called to Juliet.

"Just go inside, the door will be unlocked."

"Really, Carlton, you of all people should know about locking your doors."

"I do lock my doors but the Chief is inside waiting for us."

Juliet tried the door and it was unlocked, so she walked in. She walked down the little hall until she entered the lounge.

"Is that you, Lassiter?" The Chief's voice came from the kitchen.

"Yes it is and I have O'Hara and Shules with me."

"Really..." the Chief said as she entered the room, wiping her hands on a tea towel. "I thought... oh, never mind. Welcome home, Juliet." The Chief held out her hand. Juliet took the Chief's hand and shook it. "So how do you feel, O'Hara?"

"After the day we've had, very tired and hungry."

"Right, so you take O'Hara's bag to her room, Lassiter," the Chief said looking at him. "And you just sit there with Shules, O'Hara, while I dish up some of this stew that McNab's wife sent over. Then while you two eat, I'll feed Shules for you and then we can talk."

"Yes, Chief," Juliet said.

"Thank you," Lassiter added.

Juliet sat down on the couch holding Shules. She slowly looked around the room; it looked the same as it did when Shawn was pushing her out of the door to get her to the hospital. As she looked at all the stuff, she couldn't help but smile at how Shawn's and Lassiter's styles complemented each other, yet you could still tell who owned what. Even the pictures and photo's hanging on the walls fit together just right. She still couldn't understand how two people who are so opposite to each other could fit so well together. Juliet was brought out of her thoughts by the Chief placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Dinner is ready, O'Hara," the chief said, looking down at her.

Juliet looked up at her and saw that the Chief had a baby bottle in her hand. Then looking over at the table, she saw Lassiter waiting for her to sit down with him. Smiling back at the Chief, Juliet got up and handed over the sleeping child. As she sat down at the table, she was hit with the wonderful smell of the stew, which was made of a very thick gravy and full of meat and vegetables. After eating, Lassiter cleared the table while O'Hara joined the Chief in the lounge.

She sat there watching the Chief feeding Shules. Juliet suddenly felt a little jealous that while she was sleeping, other people were raising HER child. Juliet couldn't believe she had just thought that. She knew that Shules belonged to Lassiter and Shawn, but she couldn't calm this growing feeling of jealousy towards the Chief. All she could hope for is that Shawn and Lassiter keep up their part of the bargain and she would be part of Shules' life. Just then Lassiter placed a cup of coffee in front of her, breaking Juliet out of her thoughts. He also placed one in front of the Chief and he held his own in his hand as he sat down.

"You wanted to talk, Chief?" Lassiter yawned.

"Well... I was expecting to see you earlier today, Detective."

"Sorry, we had a few problems that stopped us from leaving the hospital."

"Like, what?"

"Well, when I got to the hospital to pick up Juliet, I found out she had her memory back and while we packed her bag, Henry disappeared with Shules to see Shawn. By the time we got to Shawn's room, Henry was getting pushed out the door, with Shules still in his arms. When we asked him what had happened, he just said the Shawn had flat lined and then he passed out. I just had enough time to grab him and Juliet, Shules, before they both hit the floor." Lassiter said looking at his hands. "Then while we waited for some news about both Henry and Shawn, Gus suddenly decided to turn up and accuse me of ruining his life."

"And how did you do that?"

"Gus turned up drunk. He had started to feel like a third wheel and that Carlton had taken Shawn's friendship away from him. That's why he left and because of the drinking, he lost his job and he was living on the streets." Juliet answered.

"Anyway, after I convinced him to stay, the doctor came in and said we could go and see both Henry and Shawn. I took Shules and went to Shawn. Gus and Juliet went to see Henry. After a while Juliet popped her head in and told me that Henry would be released soon and that she was taking Gus to get a change of clothes. Just after they left, Shawn started to wake up but he had another episode." Lassiter stopped as he was having trouble stopping himself from breaking down.

"When Gus and I got back, Mr. Spencer and Carlton were sitting in the waiting room. Not long after, the doctor had come and told us Shawn was awake and we all could see him. We were just not to upset him. When we entered, I noticed that Shawn didn't look happy to see Shules or me, so I took Shules and left."

'Then I noticed it look like he was angry with me and when I asked him if he wanted me to leave, Shawn said yes, so I did. But we were followed by Henry and Gus not to long after. Apparently Henry asked Shawn what was wrong and Shawn said that... that we didn't want him around anymore now that Juliet and I have Shules and that Henry wants him dead. It seems that Shawn had another attack. While we waited for the doctor to come and tell us how he was, we all agreed that it might be best that Gus be the only one to see Shawn at the moment, since he seems to be the only one Shawn isn't angry with."

"Looks like you two really had had a big day. I'll leave you now to get some sleep. Now, Detective Lassiter, I don't expect to see you at the station for the next couple of days. I cannot send you out on a case when you're not thinking straight and I know you would go crazy if I put you on desk duty. Do you understand me?" the chief said as she stood up.

"Yes, Chief," Lassiter said also standing so he could take the sleeping child.

"Good, now good night both of you."

"Good night, Chief," Lassiter and O'Hara said.

They walked the Chief to the front door and watched as she walked over and climbed into her car. They waved as she drove off. Lassiter closed and locked the door and walked back to the lounge with Juliet.

"Well, Juliet, I'm off to bed. Good night." Lassiter took Shules and carried her to his room closing the door behind him.

Juliet followed them down the hallway to her own room. She turned back, looking at the closed door to Lassiter's room. "Good night, Carlton; good night, Shules," Juliet whispered as she closed her own door.


	15. That Night at Henry's

After pulling up to his house, Henry gently shook Gus to wake him. He was surprised to feel how thin the boy truly was. He shook his head, not believing that everyone, especially Shawn, didn't see that Gus was hurting. Another thing Henry had worked out was that this couldn't have just happened over the last few weeks. He was guessing at this, but Henry was pretty sure that Gus had to have been on the destructive path for a while. Which meant the drinking and not eating parts had started before the accident and while he was still in contact with Shawn.

Gus let out a small groan, as he started to respond to Henry shaking him. He opened one blood shot eye and then the other. He sat there staring at Henry, before suddenly sitting up straight when he realised who he was looking at.

"Mr. Spencer... I, umm, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to fall asleep on you. I just..."

"It's ok, son. By the looks of you, you needed the sleep and some food. So let's get you inside, deal with the food part and you can tell me when all this really started. It's not that I don't believe you that the drinking and losing your job actually happened. It's that I don't believe that it only happened in the last three to four weeks," Henry said looking at the young man who was looking back at him.

Gus didn't know what to say. He had always respected, if not been a little afraid of, Shawn's father. He always seemed to know when he and Shawn were lying, and he had no trouble using that against them. So, lying wasn't going to get him out of this one. But then again, why should he. Mr. Spencer would help him, and he needed help. Nodding his head towards the older Spencer, told Henry they had an understanding. So they both climbed out of the truck and walked into the house.

"Right, Gus, where do you want to sleep?" Henry said rubbing his hands together. "Shawn's room, the guest room or the couch; you pick."

Gus looked towards the direction of all three options, his eyes lingering on the door to Shawn's room. But thinking that would be too much to ask, he mumbled, "The couch please, Mr. Spencer."

"Ok, Shawn's room it is." Henry said dismissing what Gus had said. "Now go and get changed into some of Shawn's old clothes; he still keeps some here, and I'll put the food on. Actually, Gus, I think you might even find some of your own clothes as well. Now off you go," Henry said as he headed into the kitchen, not giving Gus the chance to protest. Gus just watched him leave, before heading to Shawn's old bed room.

The door squeaked on its hinges as if it was protesting his right to be there. In Gus' mind he didn't have the right to be there. Shawn was no longer his friend, he was Lassiter's now. Gus was just a thing of his past, just like so many other things that Shawn had just picked up and packed away into boxes; only to pull them out every now and then. Gus was now packed away in one of the many boxes in Shawn's mind, and only thought about when it was convenient for Shawn to do so.

Gus looked through the clothes that were on the bed or packed roughly into the cupboard. He finely found a pair of gray coloured slacks and a pair of briefs that he had left there a while back. After looking a little longer he found an AC/DC T-shirt that Shawn had stolen from him a few years back. As he started to head out he spied a shoe box with his name on it just peeking out from under the bed. Picking up the box, he sat down on the bed and opened it up. There inside was a pair of shoes, they looked familiar, but when he read the note that was also inside the box, tears started to flow.

'Gus,

I know how much those shoes meant to you, so here are some to replace them.

I will always love you, brother.

Shawn.'

The shoes were the same type he had lost when they were chasing treasure with Shawn's uncle Jack. The box was dated two days before the accident. Maybe, just maybe Shawn hadn't forgotten about him. Maybe it was Gus who had gotten lost and forgot about Shawn. After all, maybe Shawn didn't spend all his time with Gus anymore, but when they were together, alone, they had one hell of a time and Gus was always the first one he called when he needed to talk. Gus was now feeling guilty for being so selfish. Shawn deserved to be happy, because that was what Shawn did for everyone else. He made them happy, even if it hurt him.

Henry's voice suddenly brought Gus out of his thoughts. Just as he looked up Henry popped his head through the door.

"Gus, you haven't gone to sleep have you? I just called you, dinner is ready." When Henry saw the tears; he walked over to Gus and sits down next to him. "What's wrong, son?"

"I am," replied Gus.

"What do you mean, you're wrong, Gus?" Henry was very concerned about the way Gus was behaving.

"I thought Shawn had forgotten me, but it was the other way around. I forgot him. I forgot how Shawn does everything to make other people happy and when he finely found what made him happy, I couldn't be happy for him. I was jealous of him and tried to blame him for everything that was going wrong in my life." Gus stood up and started to pace. "But, it was my fault. I'm the one who started to drink; Shawn didn't shove it down my throat. I was the one trying to cover it up and the mistakes I was making at work. Hell, I was the one who started to take the drugs I was supposed to be selling, not Shawn. I should have talked to him, but I didn't and I should have. Shawn could have helped me, but I turned my back on him and all of our years of friendship." Gus sat back down next to Henry, his angry and energy spent. He just sat there quietly looking at the shoes.

Henry looked at him for a little while longer, before he decided to speak to the upset man.

"What brought this on, Gus? I thought it would take a lot more, than you being in Shawn's old room to make you talk to me."

"These shoes," Gus said still staring at the shoes.

"How can shoes, make you talk? I don't get..."

"They're the same ones I lost when we were chasing after Uncle Jack's treasure. Shawn brought these to replace them. He just didn't get the chance to give them to me. The accident happened first."

Henry looked at the shoes and could see the letter as well. Nodding his understanding, he decided to see if he could get any more information out of him.

"So when did you lose your job?"

"Two weeks before the accident. My boss caught me drinking in my office. There is a no drugs, no alcohol policy in the building. I was just about broke when I left. I couldn't face Shawn and Juliet being in a coma and I knew my family would be ashamed of me if I told them the truth, so I just left."

"I had finely hit rock bottom when I got back here. I went and spent the last bit of money I had and got drunk. Then I turned up at the hospital. I was going to see Shawn and tell him how he ruined my life and how I wish he had never been in it. But I ran into Jules and Lassiter first and took my anger out on him. I didn't see the baby and it didn't click that Jules was sitting there, not in the same room as Shawn who was still in a coma. I just let him have it and he treated me as if I hadn't said anything. In fact he wanted to help me. He even told me, I was Shawn's brother and called Shules my niece. And what did I do for them, nothing; nothing at all."

"Ok, Gus, I think you need something to eat now and then a good night's sleep. Come on," Henry said standing up and holding out his hand to him.

Gus just looked at the hand and then he looked up at Henry's face. Henry gave him a small smile and Gus returned it. Taking Henry's hand, Gus allowed his best friend's father to walk him out of the room, down the hall to the best smell he had ever encountered. There on the table, were two plates, each full with a large steak, mashed potatoes and vegetables covered in thick brown gravy. The two men sat down and ate in relative silence, except for the occasional questions from both parties. Afterwards they washed up and then went to their own rooms to sleep. Gus just pushed the clothes off onto the floor; he would tidy up in the morning.


	16. That Night in Shawn's Room

Shawn lay awake in his room. He was trying hard to decipher the feelings which were running around his head. He couldn't understand why he was so angry and why that anger was directed at everyone.

He looked over at the clock and let out a long, tired sigh, when he saw that it was two o'clock in the morning. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep until he could work all this out, he tried changing strategies. Instead of looking at it as a whole, Shawn decided to look at why he was angry at the individuals, themselves.

He decided to start with Gus. Why was he so mad at Gus? Everything had been fine up to the accident, hadn't it? Yes, it was true that he had been spending a lot more time with Carlton of late. And then, when Juliet offered to have their baby, sure he had been busy, there too, but, he had made time for Gus. Not as much as he wanted, but to be fair he did have a lot on his mind, with the wedding and then preparing the house for the baby. Gus had helped out and although, he had seemed distant, Shawn was sure that if Gus had a problem he would have talked to him.

Then Shawn remembered that Gus did want to talk to him and on that day Gus had seemed... off. Not off, as if he was about to go crazy or anything like that, but off as in, he was unsteady on his feet and his speech was slightly slurred. Shawn started to see a pattern. Gus had been... changing and he hadn't noticed. He hadn't noticed all the beer bottles at Gus' house, simply because there were days, maybe even weeks, in between his visits. He hadn't noticed that Gus was spending a lot more time at the Psych office and that just about all his personal effects were starting to stock pile there. Thinking about it now, Shawn could see that Gus was, for some reason, hurting and had turned to alcohol to cope, instead of him. Had Gus hit so low before the accident, that, while Shawn was in the coma, he had hit rock bottom? That could explain the way Gus had looked today.

Shawn shook his head as he realised he had failed Gus, as a brother and as a friend. Maybe, while he was in the coma, his mind had worked all this out. This would explain Gus stabbing him in the back in the dream, because that is what he had done to Gus. Shawn felt a tear slide down his cheek for the lost friendship he had caused. He prayed that it wasn't too late, to try and fix it. Feeling a little better now that the anger against Gus was gone he decided to focus on his father.

The biggest problem Shawn had wasn't the fact that he was angry with his dad. He is always angry at him. It was the strength that was behind the anger. His normal anger was the type of anger all children had for their parents, for Shawn there was a lot more than the average child, but it was still the same type as all the others. But this anger was different. This was the type of anger that could kill.

Thinking of the dream, he tried to work out what each part involving his dad could mean. It started with him begging for his dad to help him, and his dad saying no and that he had always been a disappointment to him. Shawn knew that his dad always wanted him to deal with his own problems, but at the same time, wanted him to ask for help when he really needed it. Was this what it meant? That Shawn needed to deal with the problem he was having with Juliet and the baby. That he felt that, although the baby was his and Juliet's, it would bring Carlton and Jules closer together and he felt threatened because of this. Was he feeling that Carlton would prefer to be with a strong woman like Jules, rather than a weak; immature man like Shawn? Shawn knew his dad loved him and the knife to the stomach was really a punch saying that Shawn needed to man up and face his fears.

This had now answered a lot of the questions he had about the anger towards Carlton and Jules. He knew they wouldn't hurt him deliberately, but in his mind they were falling in love and that hurt him more than ever.

Carlton loved him, he truly did. But Shawn couldn't help but wonder if Carlton ever regretted marrying him and, if he would have been better off marrying Juliet, instead?

And as for Juliet, well she has been the best friend they could ever ask for. She had given up so much to give them the family they wanted. So why did his mind make her the bad one. Was it just the fear he had about losing Carlton to her, or was there something else?

Was it the baby? A child he hadn't yet met and only just caught a glimpse of. He had so much anger directed at her and yet he did know her. She was only a child, a baby that was supposed to complete their family. How could he be angry at her? No it wasn't the child's fault. It was Shawn's fault, everything was his fault and he knew it. And now he knew what he needed to do. Reaching over, he pulled a pen and some paper from the table beside him, and he started to write.

Two hours later he had finished. Climbing out of bed, Shawn struggled to make his way to the door of his room. Looking back and with tears flowing from his eyes, he walked out of his room and out of the hospital.


	17. Where is Shawn?

Lassiter and Juliet, along with Shules, met Henry and Gus at the hospital early the next morning. Even though Gus was the only one who was going to be seeing Shawn, they all wanted to hear how he was doing from the doctor. They were all a little surprised when they arrived to find the hospital was full of activity. They were also surprised to see McNab and the Chief, along with over half the station there.

At first, Lassiter thought there might have been a murder at the hospital. But his thought turned to Shawn as soon as the Chief started to walk over to them. He could see the worry in her face and when he looked at Henry, he could see that he to, was thinking about Shawn.

"I'm glad you are all here," the Chief said.

"What's going on, Chief?" asked Lassiter. "Is Shawn ok?"

"We don't know, Detective. It seems that sometime this morning Shawn just walked out of the hospital."

"What...?" was the combined response.

"But how?" asked Gus.

"Again, we don't know."

"Then what do you know, Karen?" barked Henry.

"We know that he went missing sometime between one and five this morning. We know he is still in a hospital gown and we know that he left these notes to us all." She showed them the notes she was holding. "We also know we need to find him and the sooner the better."

Henry stared at the notes, one was address to him and the other's each had a name on them. Although he was worried about Shawn, he was just as worried as to what Shawn may have put in the notes. Looking at Gus, Henry knew he had to stall for time.

"Chief... Karen, could you hold off looking at the notes until we find Shawn, please."

"And why is that Henry?" Chief Vick asked a little curious as to what Henry was focusing on.

"Just... just in case Shawn has put some things in them he might regret later on. We can't be sure what state of mind Shawn was in when he wrote them and..."

"I had already thought about that Henry and I wasn't going to hand them out just yet. But you did ask what I knew; now, we need to know where the most likely place for Shawn to go is?" Chief Vick looked around at the faces she hoped might give her a place to start looking.

"Well, there is the beach," Henry answered.

"And Mario's," added Gus.

.

"I know he loved to sit under that tree in the back yard at home," offered Juliet.

"I think I know a place, but I need to go by myself and see." Lassiter whispered so quietly, that they all just about missed it.

The Chief looked at Lassiter for a moment then nodded. "Ok, Detective. I'll set up some officers to check out the other places and you can check yours. But, if you find him let me know straight away. The doctor's are very concerned for him. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Chief. Henry, can you look after Shules please?" Lassiter said as he passed the sleeping child over.

"Of course I will and, Carlton, if you find him, please, I beg you, please bring my boy home, safe."

"I will, Henry." Lassiter kissed his daughter on the forehead and headed out of the hospital.

Chief Vick watched him leave; she then headed over to a group of officers and started to hand out orders. The remaining three watched, as officers jumped to attention and then rushed off to do whatever they had been ordered to do. McNab stood by and as soon as he was given his orders by the Chief, he walked over to them.

"The Chief wants me to take your statements about the last time you saw Shawn."

Juliet wanted to give McNab a hug. In his eyes, she could see the concern he had for Shawn and the frustration of not being out there looking for him.

"He's going to be ok, Buzz," she said trying the best to convince herself as much as McNab.

"I know, Detective O'Hara, it's just..." McNab looked over to the Chief and then back to them. "It's just that, Shawn... Shawn really needs to be back here in the hospital now. The doctor's are worried that if Shawn has too much exposure, his heart might give out."

They all just stared at McNab. They couldn't believe what he had just told them; that Shawn was in real danger. Henry was now fuming. He had asked Karen to tell them everything she knew, and yet she kept this from them. How could she? McNab led them to a nearby office and one by one they told him about the night before.

As Lassiter drove down the street through the early morning traffic, it started to rain. He pulled to a stop at the traffic lights, and he once again tried to answer the question which had been running around his head since he left the hospital. Why did Shawn leave?

Why did he get up and walk out of the hospital? Was it because he wanted to disappear or was he that confused when he woke up, he didn't know what he was doing? Whatever it was, Lassiter just hoped that they found him in time. By the time the lights had changed, the rain was coming down in buckets. He pulled up in the car park of the old amusement park.

Back in its day, it was the place to go, but now it was just a death trap for anyone who entered. Lassiter had remembered Shawn going on about the old place and how he had spent many happy times here even long after it had closed.

A loud clap of thunder echoed around the place as he climbed out of his car, giving the park an even more eerie effect. He ran across the parking spaces to the old rusted out turn stile and in a single bound jumped over it. He had no time to waste; he needed to find Shawn and soon. The park was now lit up by a flash of lighting, followed by another clap of thunder and the rain came down even heaver. Lassiter headed straight to the house of horrors, as it was the place he talked about most. Lassiter let a smile creep across his face as he remembered Shawn telling him about how he scared the hell out of Gus so many times on that ride and how, when he felt scared and needs a break he would still slip in there to think.

Just as he reached the entrance, which happened to be the open mouth of a dragon, the loudest clap of thunder shook the ground and lighting lit up the area. Lassiter was able to get a better look. Sure enough, there in the dust, were footprints leading into the dark tunnel. Lassiter took out his torch and entered.

It was hard going, as the wind was sweeping up the dust and blowing it into his face. It was also causing a deafening, howling noise and with the thunder and rain outside, it was very hard to hear anything. Yelling at the top of his voice, he called out Shawn's name twice and then stopped and listened for a few minutes before moving forward and trying again. He was nearly on top of Shawn before he had heard him moaning. But as soon as his torch light hit Shawn's still body, Lassiter was by his side.

"Shawn! Shawn!" Lassiter yelled above the roaring noise.

"Carlton?" Shawn groaned as Lassiter pulled him up into his lap and placed his head onto his shoulder.

"Oh god, Shawn, thank god I found you."

"Why...why did you come looking for me?"

Lassiter was taken back, by this question. Did Shawn really think he didn't love him anymore?

"Because I love you, Shawn, what else is there?"

"You love me?" Shawn asked, his eyes trying to focus on the face before him.

"Yes, Shawn, what in the world made you think that I don't love you?"

"You deserve better than me, you deserve someone like Jules. Someone who is strong and..."

"Shawn, I love you, not Juliet; she's just my work partner. You are my life and I'm nothing without you."

"Really, I'm..." Shawn suddenly started to shake violently. His eyes rolled back into his head and then he went limp in Lassiter's arms.

"Shawn! Oh god no! Shawn don't you die on me!" Lassiter yelled as he fumbled about to get out his phone.

Just as Chief Vick walked into the office where Henry, Gus and Jules had been waiting, her phone rang. Looking at the caller ID and seeing it was Lassiter, she quickly answered it.

"Lassiter, please tell me you have found him." she said into the phone while holding up her hand to quiet the group that was now surrounding her. "What was that? I can't hear you clearly. Shawn's had some sort of seizure. You're where...?" The Chief's face suddenly went white and took on a look of shock. "Lassiter, Lassiter are you still there. Carlton, please answer me." When she heard the dial tone, she took the phone and just looked at it as if she was expecting it to bite her.

Looking up and seeing the faces that were waiting to hear some news, the Chief wasn't sure what to say. Instead, she turned to McNab.

"McNab, get out there now and put a call out for everyone to find Detective Lassiter's car and they are to report in immediately and someone see if they can track Lassiter's phone."

"Yes, Chief," McNab said as headed out the door.

"That was Lassiter, he has found Shawn but, he said that he has had some sort of seizure."

"Where are they, Karen?" Henry asked although from the conversation they had heard he already knew Chief Vick didn't know.

"I, I don't know. There was a sound, a loud noise as if something was collapsing and the line went dead before he could tell me. I'm sorry, Henry. I'm so sorry."


	18. A Way In

As they walked into the station, Henry looked around to find it was almost completely deserted. There were a few officers sitting at their desks and only one on at the service desk. They all walked into the Chief's office and sat down. She walked around them all after she had shut the door and sat in her own chair.

Chief Vick didn't know what to say; she just didn't know. Here, in front of her, sat Shawn Spencer's friends and family and they were waiting for her to say something, but her mind had gone blank, since she heard the noise in the phone.

"Chief Vick... Karen, where is everybody?" Henry asked as he looked out of the glass door.

"They're out...out there looking for Carlton and Shawn," she answered as she wiped her face with her hand.

"Chief Vick...," started Gus. "You said you heard a noise, what kind of noise?"

"At first I couldn't hear him right. It was like he was in a wind tunnel or something. Then I, I heard a sound like a loud crack, as if something was breaking." She stopped and shook her head as if trying to clear it. "Then, then I heard Lassiter screaming and then there was nothing. There was not a sound, nothing but silence." When Chief Vick finished she wiped her face again with her hand, then left it covering her mouth.

"That's not good, not good at all," Juliet added. Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Chief Vick called.

A young officer entered and nervously looked around the group before addressing his Chief.

"Sorry to disturb you, Chief, but Officer McNab's wife is here to see you."

"Thank you, please show her in."

"Yes Chief." He left but was back in just a couple of minutes, with a young woman in tow. "Mrs McNab, right this way," he said as he showed her in and closed the door behind him.

"Francine; how nice to see you again. How can I help you?" Chief Vick said to the woman before her.

"Chief Vick, it nice to see you again too, but it's a shame I'm seeing you under such bad circumstances. Buzz had given me a ring to let me know what was happening. I have come down here to see if you would like me to look after Shules until you can find Detective Lassiter and Shawn." She was looking at the baby who was playing catch her hand while lying on her grandfather's lap.

"I'm not...," Chief Vick began to say before Henry interrupted her.

"That would be great, Francine. The station is no place for a baby, especially with the tension that is here at the moment," Henry said giving her a smile.

"I will look after her and, please, let me know when you find them. I will be praying." She gently took the baby from Henry's arms, picked up the diaper bag and left.

"Thank you for that, Henry, and don't worry, O'Hara, Francine has been looking after Shules ever since she was released for the hospital," Chief Vick said smiling at Juliet.

"Thank you, Chief, I just wish we knew where they are."

"So do..." Just then the chief's phone rang. She answered it with all eyes on her.

"You have, where? Right, we'll be right down, bye. They've found Lassiter's car at the old amusement park. A medical team is on its way there now."

"The old amusement park," Gus blurted out. Then they're most likely to be in the house of horrors. Shawn hasn't mentioned it for so long, I nearly forgot about that place."

"Are you sure, Mr. Guster?" the Chief asked.

"Yes, Shawn used to go there when we were a lot younger, just to think, even after the park had closed down."

"Right, you lot head down there now and I'll call it in so they know where to start looking." Chief Vick picked up the phone and the others moved towards the door.

By the time Chief Vick had caught up with them the storm had passed and the sun was starting to come out. Looking at her watch, she realised it was now twelve o'clock and Shawn had been missing for a good seven to eight hours. As she approached, she could hear Henry yelling at someone.

"...I don't care, my son is in there," Chief Vick heard as she neared the men.

"Is everything ok here, Henry?" she asked the older Spencer.

"No, it's not. They're just standing around, while Shawn could be in there dying," Henry said pointing to a group of men who were looking over a map.

"Ok, I'll see what I can do," she said slipping past the police tape and walking up to the group.

Henry, Gus and Juliet stood watching from the side lines, as Chief Vick had a talk to the men who was keeping Henry from Shawn. After what seemed like forever, but was only about ten minutes, she returned to her own little group.

"It seems the roof has caved in. They're trying to find another way in, Henry, and you yelling and threatening to go barging in there, is slowing them down. So please, let the experts do their job and get Shawn and Lassiter out safely," Chief Vick said both as a plea and as a command.

"Why, why should I listen to you? At the hospital you said you told us everything you knew, but you lied to me, to us. McNab said the reason Shawn needed to get back there as soon as possible was because, his heath could fail. Why didn't you tell us that and why do you expect me to listen to you now?" Henry yelled at her. He was worried. Worried he might lose his son, the father of his granddaughter. And that they might even loose Lassiter.

Chief Vick, Gus and Juliet just stood there as Henry vented his anger. They knew he was going to burn himself out soon and then they would be able to talk some sense into him.

Not long after, the Chief of the fire and rescue team came over to talk to them. "We think we have found a way down. It's going to be slow going, but if it works we will come out right where we think they are."

"And if it doesn't work?" Henry asked.

"If it doesn't work, we'll try something else. While we're doing this, another team will be looking for another way in. Don't worry, we'll get them out." He said patting Henry on the shoulder and heading back to his men.

Forty-five minutes later, they started to lower a man down one of the air shafts.


	19. Inside the ride

The dust was just settling as Lassiter came to. Letting out a hoarse cough, Lassiter looked around him. The way he had come in was blocked; it looked like just about the whole entrance had caved in. Looking behind him to where Shawn was, all he could see was a dust cloud.

"Shawn?" was all he could choke out, before he dust sent him into another coughing fit.

Grabbing at his chest, Lassiter tried desperately to stop the sharp pain threatening to cause him to black out again. He tried to get up only to find that one of his legs was trapped under the fallen debris. Crying out in pain, Lassiter knew he had to get himself free so he could find Shawn.

Feeling around Lassiter realised that his right leg was pinned under a large beam and from the wet feeling on his hand, he was bleeding badly. Trying not to let panic to overwhelm him, he felt around until his hand found his mobile phone. Turning it on, the brightness from the screen gave him some light, but his heart dropped when he saw that there was no signal.

Using the phone as a torch he again had a look at the beam that was holding him down. It wasn't as big as he first thought and this gave him hope that he might be able to move it enough to get his leg out. Finding a metal rod, Lassiter slowly slid it under the beam near his leg. He pushed it up, until it touched to beam. He then grits his teeth and pushed with all his might. The beam slowly but surely started to move. Pushing through the pain, Lassiter pushed hard on the rod and as soon as he was sure he could get his leg out, he moved it. Once it was clear of the beam Lassiter let the rod and all down with a crashing noise, only to have more debris fall around him.

Once it had settled down, he now used the light from the torch to have a better look at his leg. There was no doubt it was broken and if he didn't get help soon, he was going to bleed out. Hearing a groan coming from behind him, his thoughts returned to Shawn. Fighting through the pain, Lassiter turned himself over and lay onto his stomach. He knew this was going to be the only way he was going to be able to move. Dragging his damaged leg behind him, he used his arms to slowly pull himself in the direction of Shawn's voice. After about ten minutes, Lassiter's hand grabbed onto Shawn's leg.

"Who's that?" gasped Shawn.

"It's just me, Shawn," Lassiter answered trying to sound calm.

"Carlton? What happened?"

"The entrance to the ride has collapsed; we're trapped."

"Sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen," Shawn said as he started to cry.

Lassiter had finely managed to sit beside Shawn just at that moment. Pulling Shawn into a hug, he started to run his hand through his hair, pulling out small pieces of debris.

"It's going to be ok, Shawn. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have left the hospital."

"Carlton, I'm cold," Shawn said shivering.

"I know, Shawn, and if I could, I'd warm you up but I can't. Just try to move closer to me."

"Ok. Carlton?"

"Yes, Shawn?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Shawn." Lassiter clasped Shawn's face and kissed him.

"I'm sorry, I was so angry with you."

"It's in the past, Shawn, let's not talk about it," Lassiter said worried as to where this was going.

"No, we needed to talk," Shawn said with a little gasp. "We need to stay awake and talking to each other will help."

"Shawn..."

"No, Lassie!" Shawn snapped. "We are going to talk and we're going to talk about this. I had a bad dream while I was in the coma and I need to tell you about it."

"Ok, Shawn, I'll listen" Lassiter said with a slight slur to his words.

"No you won't. You will talk as well. We both need to stay awake and this will do it."

"What was your dream about?"

"It was about you and me, Juliet and the baby, and even Dad, Gus, Chief Vick and Buzz were there."

"So, all of us," Lassiter said with a little laugh which turned into a cough.

"Yeah, at first it was at home. I kept finding you in Juliet's arms and both of you kept telling me that you were just using me to get a baby for you." Shawn said tears threatening to run down his face from the memories.

"Shawn, you know I would never do that to you, don't you?" Lassiter said squeezing Shawn closer to him.

"Of course I do, but the dream was so real. I just..." Shawn answered shaking his head. "Anyway, it then took me to the accident. It was just me and Jules, but she kept saying that I was meant to die and since I didn't she would have to kill me." Shawn wiped his tears onto Lassiter's shirt. Then we were... somewhere. It was, like emptiness, and Jules was coming at me with a knife. I begged Dad to help me, but he stabbed me in the stomach, saying that I was a disappointment to him."

"Shawn, you know your dad loves you and that he is also very proud of you," Lassiter said shocked at what Shawn as saying.

"I know, but...but then Gus also stabbed me, in the back this time. He kept asking why I won't die. I then asked Chief Vick and Buzz to help me. But they were angry at me for lying to them all these years. The Chief even told Jules she was doing a good job killing me."

"Shawn, the Chief would under no circumstances justify murder, no matter what."

"I know, but as I said, it felt so real and you wouldn't help me either. You just stood by with the baby as Jules stabbed me to death. You said that you loved me once, but Juliet had shown you love without lies. I had lost you to her because of my lies and I don't want to do that."

"You won't Shawn; I love you too much to ever let that happen."

"How do you know that, maybe it will happen, Carlton?"

"No, no maybe about it. I love you too much, to let that happen, Shawn."

"Carlton?"

"Yes, Shawn"

"I'm not psychic," Shawn said he waited to hear what Lassiter had to say and when nothing came he said it again, but still nothing. "Carlton? Lassie, did you hear me?" Shawn said tears running down his face. "Carlton, please answer me, please," Shawn whispered. "Carlton..." It was the last thing Shawn said before he too, entered the world of blackness.


	20. Shawn is Back

Shawn blinked into the bright light and although he tried to focus, all he could make out was a few blurred images and muffled voices. Fight as he could, he just could not move or talk and the images he saw just kept moving around on him, so putting all his consideration into just one of them was impossible. Giving up, Shawn allowed the blackness to take over him again.

"... I think he's waking up, Gus," a voice said as Shawn slowly opened his eyes, a few hours later.

The light wasn't as bright this time and he could hear and see clearly now. Looking up at the ceiling from his position didn't make things any clearer as to where he was. The ceiling looked familiar, yet, not so much. Had he died and this was heaven. No, he was sure he was going to hell, and unless the devil had been doing some decorating, this was definitely not Hell.

"Shawn?" there was that voice again, but this time it was talking to him and it sounded like his dad. "Shawn, are you awake?" This time the voice didn't sound confidant.

"Dad, Dad is that you?" Shawn asked. It was barely a whisper, but Henry had heard it.

"Oh thank god, Shawn, you're awake." Henry's voice now was coming in loud and clear.

"Yeah, Dad, I guess I am. Dad, I'm thirsty," Shawn said a little bit stronger this time.

"I know, son. Gus can you go and get the doctor or a nurse please."

"You got it, Mr. Spencer."

"Gus? What... where am I, Dad?"

"You're in the hospital Shawn and I will tell you, you gave us quite a scare," Henry said. Shawn could hear the worry in his father's voice.

"Lassie...?" Shawn asked.

"He's fine, Shawn. You'll be able to see him soon." Henry looked over at the door as the doctor walked in. "Ok, Shawn, the doctor's here now. See you in a minute."

"Right, Dad, see you soon." Shawn felt really tired all of a sudden.

"Well, hello again, Mr. Spencer, are you planning to stay with us this time or do I need to handcuff you to the bed," a voice said and it was then accompanied by a face with a beautiful set of blue eyes.

"Are you an angel?" Shawn asked as he stared in to the pools of blue.

"No! I'm just a doctor. Now, let's get a better look at you." The doctor raised the bed and once Shawn was in a sitting position the doctor started his examination.

Every so often Shawn let out a little giggle as the doctor's hands wandered over Shawn's body when he hit a ticklish spot or Shawn found that his hands were cold. When the doctor started on his chest, Shawn let out a groan of pain. The hands stopped on the spot and then the doctor had a closer look. After about five minutes, the doctor had finished.

"Well, Mr. Spencer you..."

"Shawn, please."

"Ok, Shawn, it looks like your wounds are healing well and all you have left is that cracked rib to heal. Now, Mr. Spencer..." the doctor said directing this bit of information to Henry. "He still needs to rest, but it looks like Shawn is going to be fine."

"Thank you, Doctor," Henry said as he shook the doctor's hand. "Oh, and Doctor, Shawn said he was thirsty."

"I'll get the nurse to bring in some ice chips."

"Thank you, again." Henry watched the doctor walk out the door and then turned to his son. "Right, Shawn, what in the hell were you thinking?"

"What are you talking about, Dad?" Shawn asked, a bit of confusion reflected in his eyes.

"Oh, dear lord, Shawn. You came out of a coma after six weeks. You treated me and everyone like we were the enemy, then you took off into a death trap and nearly got yourself and Carlton killed. And you have the gall to ask me what I am talking about." Henry had slowly raised his voice as he said this.

"Oh, that."

"Yes that, Shawn."

Shawn just sat there, looking down at his hands. Suddenly his eyes brighten up and he looked at his Dad. "Carlton's ok?"

"Yes, Shawn, he's..." his Dad stopped to think for a second on how to phrase the rest. "He's alive."

"Alive?" Shawn echoed as he looked at Gus. "What do you mean by, 'alive'?"

"Shawn..., when they pulled the two of you from the ride, you were both in a bad way. Carlton had lost a lot of blood, and your heart had stopped." Shawn watched as his dad swallowed back the lump that had formed in his throat. He could also see the hurt and pain in both Henry's and Gus' eyes. "They managed to revive you and when we got back here, you were both in surgery. They placed you into an induced coma. They said it was the only way, to let your body heal. Carlton, he's alive, but he, too, has been in a coma. He just hasn't come out of his yet."

"How long have we been out for?" Shawn whispered.

"Two months," Gus answered.

"So, Dad, what happens now?" Shawn said trying to hold back the tears that had started to form.

"I don't know we will just have to wait and see, son. Would you like to meet your daughter Shules, now?"

"Shules, that's her name?"

"Yes, Shawn," Juliet said as she emerged from the corner of the room carrying a baby. "If you don't like the name, you'll have to take it up with your husband when he wakes up as he named her."

"Carlton, named our daughter, Shules Spencer."

"Actually, he named her Shules Guster Spencer," Gus, the proud Uncle, piped up, as Juliet placed Shules into Shawn's arms.

"Well, hello, Shules. I'm your dad," he said as he looked over the child in his hands.

Shules was now three and a half months old. Her hair was a mass of soft blonde curls and she had a slightly tanned skin. A quick glance and Shawn could see ten perfect toes and ten perfect fingers. Then Shules opened her eyes and tears started to form in Shawn's own eyes, for there, staring back at him, was the most beautiful, crystal clear, bluish green eyes he'd had ever seen.

"Jules, she beautiful," he said as the tears started to fall. Looking up at her he continued. "Thank you, thank you so much."

"You're welcome, Shawn." and Juliet gave him and Shules a hug.

Afterwards Shawn looked at all his friends and family; his dad, Gus, Juliet and Shules. He felt ashamed, with the way he had treated them and was hoping it wasn't too late to apologise to them. Looking back down at his hands, he tried to think of the right words to use. When he was sure he had the ones he wanted, he started to talk, but because he was so ashamed, he didn't raise his head.

"Guys, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I treated you all badly. I'm sorry that I took off like I did and I'm sorry I got Carlton hurt. But mostly, I'm sorry for what I did to you all with what I put in the letters. It wasn't fair to put..."

Wait a minute, Shawn," his dad interrupted. "But no one has seen the letters."

"What?" Shawn said looking up. "But, I left them on my bed."

"We know, but the Chief never gave them to us. I asked her not to, just in case you put something in them that you might regret later on and she agreed."

"Thank you, Dad, I don't know what to say," Shawn said yawning.

"Just tell me you won't do it again, Shawn."

"Ok," again Shawn said yawning. "I won't."

"I think we need to let Shawn get some more sleep," Gus said watching Shawn yawn for the third time.

"I agree," Henry added.

"Goodbye, Shawn, see you later," Juliet said giving him a kiss on the cheek and allowing Shawn to give Shules a kiss. She and Gus then left.

"You get some sleep, Shawn, I'll be right here when you wake up."

Shawn followed his Dad, as he walked over and sat down in the chair in the corner. As his eyes closed once more, Shawn mumbled. "Goodnight, Dad."


	21. Together Again

Lassiter struggled to take a breath. Something was down his throat, and it was making it hard for him to breath. Thrashing about, Lassiter tried his best to dislodge the foreign object. Suddenly there was a sharp pain in his arm, and a fog started to cover his mind. The last image he saw, before his mind shut down, was someone dressed in white, wearing a white mask that was covering their mouth and nose and some beautiful crystal blue eyes looking at him.

The image of the blue eyes which were looking at him, mixed with the feeling of the rising panic of not being able to breath, tightened itself around his mind. Lassiter was too afraid to move. But, as the grogginess slowly started to lift, he managed to calm himself down. He was presently surprised to find the object was gone and he could breathe quite freely. He again opens his eyes. He lay there for a few minutes, looking up at the white ceiling. He couldn't help wonder why the blue eyes made him feel so calm, and then he got the feeling that he wasn't alone. Slowly, he tried to look around.

"Easily, Lassie, it's ok, I'm here." The voice Carlton had been longing to hear came through the fog.

"Shawn... is that you?" Lassiter said in a whisper that could barely be heard.

"Yes, Carlton, darling, it's me."

"Are we in heaven or hell?" Carlton asked.

"Neither, we're still alive," and then Shawn's face came into view. "Thank you for coming after me," Shawn said leaning down and giving Lassiter a soft kiss on the lips. "I love you, Carlton."

"I love you too, Shawn," Lassiter whispered back.

Shawn turned and looked away and when he looked back at Lassiter he had a smile on his face.

"Lassie, I've just got to step aside for a minute while the doctor examines you, but I'll be right here." And with that he gave Lassiter another kiss and then disappeared.

The place where Shawn had been standing was now occupied by another face. It was an older face, but it had the blue eyes that he had seen earlier, only this time the face wasn't covered.

"Well, Detective Lassiter. You've decided to return to us, I see. Now, I'm just going to give you a look over and if I'm happy with the results, I'll let your family stay for a little longer, if not, well they'll just have to come back later."

"Ok, Doctor," Lassiter replied.

He was still very tired, so he just laid there as the doctor moved his hands all over his body. When the doctor had finished, he raised the back of the bed, so Lassiter could now see the room and everyone in it.

"Well... it looks like you have healed well and your responses are well in the range I was expecting."

"So what does that mean, Doctor?" Henry asked.

"It means you can stay for about half an hour, but then I want you to leave and come back tomorrow. By this time his mind should have cleared a lot," the doctor answered, then left the group alone with Lassiter.

'Welcome back, darling," Shawn said taking Lassiter's hand in his. "I'm sorry I did this to you."

"It's ok, Shawn, and if you ever take off into another death trap, I would still follow you in there as well. I love you Shawn."

"I love you too, Carlton."

"Good to see you wanted to stay with us, Carlton" Henry said as he stood behind Shawn.

"Yeah, welcome back, partner," Juliet added.

"It's good to see you both as well," Lassiter said looking at them both.

He then noticed, Juliet holding a large child in her arms. He shook his head; surely this couldn't be Shules. She was only a baby, but this child had her hair and eyes.

"Is that Shules?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, Carlton, it is." Shawn answered.

"But... How can it be?" Lassiter asked confused.

"Because, you've been in a coma for the last seven months, that's how. You just had to outdo me, didn't you?" Shawn said laughing. "Our daughter is nearly a year old and we've both missed so much of it. It's just isn't fair."

Juliet walked over to Lassiter, so he could have a closer look. Juliet placed the child down on the bed and Shules just climbed out of her arms and gave Carlton a hug and a huge sloppy kiss on the cheek. Everyone, including Lassiter, busted into laughter. Shules was a little startled by this and at first looked around, and then she too started to giggle, which made everyone laugh even harder. Just as everyone had settled down a nurse came in and let them know it was time to go.

"We'll see you later, Carlton." Henry and Jules said as they walked out carrying Shules.

"And I'll be the first one back here in the morning, Carlton," Shawn said as he gave Lassiter another great big kiss. As he was leaving he glanced at the nurse and could see she was blushing. "Love you, Lassie," Shawn yelled as he bolted out the door.

"Love you too, Spencer," Lassiter called after him. "I love you, too."

The next day, Shawn was true to his words and was the first to arrive. Henry, Gus, Juliet and Shules turned up about half an hour later. Gus only stayed a few moments, as he had to get to work.

The rest sat around and filled Lassiter in on what had been happening while he was out. At one point, Henry and Jules left, leaving the two men alone with their child. As Shules played quietly on the floor, Shawn and Lassiter shared a long and tender kiss. They talked about what they hoped their future was going to hold for them. Lassiter was going to be in hospital for a least another two weeks and then off work for at least four more while he went through physical therapy.

When Henry returned, he found all three fast asleep. Lassiter was in the middle, with Shawn asleep in one arm and Shules fast asleep on the other. The proud grandfather couldn't but help take a photo of this scene of his son and son-in-law and their child.


End file.
